A Valley of Shattered Hearts

Chapter 3

Chapter song - Finding solace in the stars by Nsee, VOISART

I feel tired somehow even though I've been getting over the amount of sleep every night. Okay, maybe that was a lie, but I really can't help control my sleeping.

I noticed a long time ago that I care more about what is going on in other people's life rather than mine. I find it more interesting when Zachary Byrd won baseball's first season or when Stephanie Crawford got a new cat.

I don't even know why I still really hate the world since I am so involved in it on a daily basis, but it really just doesn't matter.

I think about how I am going to have to go home for winter and how much I really don't want to. It's worth it, I really don't want to hear Jade's questions about why I'm staying here rather than home. I believe the word 'home' is completely and utterly useless.

I'd probably lock myself in my room and not come out in the hopes of missing Christmas morning. I'd probably forget to do normal things like shower or eat so that's why I'll have to sneak around the house at night again.

Things like class are great because it begins to distract me from all of the things I don't want to think about. Instead of thinking about who Ruby Jones really was, I'll get lost in my math textbook or learn a new charm or something. I'll always end up thinking about it though.

Then it will make me angry. Again.

I'd be alone, unsafe. Sitting in my room, doing nothing. There's nothing worse than being sad alone. I really don't think there is. At least I had Ruby for a while to complain to, that didn't work out and now there's nothing in life for me to go back to.

I wish I liked myself more sometimes because then other people might like me more. Maybe if my confidence levels went up, I wouldn't have to explain all of the unusual things I do instead of saying sorry.

I'll find out who Ruby Jones really was.

I'm going to figure it out.

I've had the worst days in the world, but in my life, this is one of the worst days.

This is stupid, so stupid. Why do I want to find this out so badly, let me just go back to reading a useless book that I'm probably not going to figure out anyway.

I search for Ruby Jones on the web browser from the computer in the lab.

Error Code - Web Browser Not Found

Why would nothing be found? It doesn't make sense, if it was truly nothing, why would people tell everyone about it?

I make sure I'm not mistyping, which I'm not so I copy the name and paste it again.

Error Code - Web Browser Not Found

Did the government delete any association with her name?

Did they make her disappear?

Did they kill her too?

"One sec!" I hear Jade call from outside the door.

I make sure to close down the computer, I value privacy at this point. I don't want anyone knowing anything about my personal life.

"Studying?" Jade asks me.

I laugh, "kind of gave up, but yeah."

"It's like my mind can't grasp it, I don't know," I say.

"Hmmm. I mean math is pretty hard."

"You can do it, I believe in you," she says, patting my back.