Leonard McCoy X Reader ; Panic Attack

See the Horizon

Your eyes fluttered open, adjusting to the low lighting in the room. The oxygen mask was taken off your face, presumably due to how you were positioned from sleeping and that your breathing rate had returned to normal. The sound of quiet beeps and blips from the vitals meter above the bio bed as clicking away helped drag you into the present.

All muscles were sore from being so tense while your panic attack was gripping you. That, and half of your body is bruised from being thrown about the ship into the walls. Struggling to swallow, you realized how dry your mouth was. It was a common thing that happened when you had been anxious. Begrudgingly, you forced yourself to an upright position and looked around for a drink of any kind to quench your thirst.

"Ugh," you mumbled to yourself, placing your head in your palms as a headache suddenly overcame you, "please go away."

"You want me to go away?" said a deep voice from across the small room.

Squinting for focus on the figure in the doorway, blurred vision turned to the sharper image of Kirk entering your room.

"Jim?" you questioned looking puzzled, "why...what are you doing here?"

"Came to see the status of the crew in sick bay, what with the ship now free from assailants taking aim at it," he crossed his arms and leaned on the wall by your bedside.

"Ah," you nodded, then instantly regretted it as it rattled your headache, "got it."

Jim glanced over you, a more serious expression washing over his face.

"How are you doing, (Y/n)?" he inquired sternly, an edge of concern in his voice.

Turing your eyes toward him you half heartedly chuckled, "I've been better."

"Okay... seriously though. You really worried me up there on the bridge. I've never seen you like that before (Y/n) and it was frightening," Kirk expressed while fixing his sight on the floor in front of him.

"I-" you paused, feeling the tightness in your chest constricting again as you swallowed hard, "I'm sorry Captain. I just... froze. I'd never had to be the one that everyone was depending on in such a suspenseful situation before. I choked."

"Don't apologize," he met your gaze, "it was not your fault."

"But Jim I-"

"He's right (Y/n). It is not your fault. Don't you dare for one second blame yourself," the southern voice added.

You flicked your eyes to see Leonard entering the room. He was carrying a water bottle and some small whirring medical instruments in his hands.

Holding back the tears that pricked your eyes, you cleared your throat, "I don't want to blame myself, but Len, if.."

"No buts. No ifs. No ands. It was a critical situation and your nerves overwhelmed you- (Y/n) it happens. You didn't choose to do it, it just happened," he cut in while unscrewing the cap on the water bottle and handing it to you.

Logically, you knew what he and Jim were saying was true. But inside you couldn't help but feel guilty and ashamed of yourself.

You squeezed your eyelids together shut tightly, fighting another wave of pain from your headache alongside your other pains.

"Drink the water slowly, you're mildly dehydrated," McCoy urged gently.

Sipping the chilled water helped a bit to calm you from crying out, as he began scanning his instruments over you silently while checking the readings.

"You are a good officer, Lieutenant. Don't hold yourself to an unattainable standard. Take care of you," Jim spoke softly, "I'll come by to see how you are later on, okay?"

You mumbled a garbled "okay," in response in between sips of water, wincing at twinges of pain.

Leonard put a hand on your shoulder, "Darlin', you should lay back," he guided you gently back down on the bed.

Furrowing his brows at the readings on the bio bed and cross checking them with the read outs on his instruments, he looked down at you with his eyes softening, "That's it, just relax."

"Hard to relax with all the aches," you remarked covering your eyes with your hands once more.

"Yes, I saw that in the readings that lactic acid build up is continuously growing," he answered, examining the state your body was in. 

He carefully rolled up your sleeves to see the bruises spanning them. He inspected further to see them covering a good amount of your body.

Ouch he thought, pressing his lips into a tight line.

"As for your head, I can only assume that it is pounding away like hammers on nails," McCoy noted shifting his focus to your face screwed up in pain.

You let out a chortle, "Ha!"

"I'm guessing that's a yes?" he pulled your hands away from your face, looking into your eyes.

"Well yeah. That and I love your southern kind of sayings. Your Georgia roots still strong throughout all the galaxies away from home."

Half amused that he made you perk up a bit, he held your face in his hands looking you over for anymore bruising, "You got yourself a country doctor, ya hear?" He played along.

A small quirked crooked smile appeared on your face, "Yessir!"

"Alright. Now hold still for a moment," Leonard positioned his fingers on the sides of you head, gently messaging the aches to ease the tension.

"Is that better?" he asked, looking to see your readings ease up a little.

"Mmhm," you hummed, eyes closed in relief.

"Good," he sighed.

"I also brought some pain meds to help soothe the pain while you rest," he gestured with the flick of his head to the side table with a hypo needle resting on it.

"Can't I just get the pain meds, and return to work? I still have reports to catch up on for Mr. Spock," you opened your eyes worriedly glancing at the doctor.

He looked incredulously at you for a moment, "What? Nooo, darlin' I'm afraid not. You heard Jim, he's worried about you. He wants you to take care of you. He out ranks Mr.Spock. Heck- even Spock must agree that it's logical for you to rest up before working again!"

"Leonard," you grabbed his hand and he stopped.

"No, you need your rest. Doctor's orders!" he huffed.

"No that's not- anyway," you rolled your eyes, "Come closer."

He let out a sigh and bent over you, "what?"

"I'll show you what," you pulled him closer and placed a kiss on his cheek, "That's to help you calm down," you giggled quietly.

//Authors note: Here it is, after years of being asked to continue this story I decided, why not? Here is a little chapter 2 for you! I will be continuing the story- so stay tuned!//