the ground my feet won't reach || cade

there is no upper hand (im giving you mine)

vignette one: the haircut
☆ ☆ ☆

jade's scissors were on the night table. they always were, just like some people kept a bat or even a gun. their purpose was demeaned by jade's heavy sleeping habits, yet they had been there since jade first moved in, and prior to that, their home was jade's table in her parents' house. cat typically paid no mind to the pair of blades; after all, ones just like them were scattered all around, because before anything else, jade was a collector of sharp objects. but one particular tuesday, it seemed they were calling to her.

𝘩𝑎𝑖𝑟 𝘩𝑜𝑙𝑑𝑠 𝑚𝑒𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠.

the phrase was stuck in her head like a bad song, taking permanent residence in the center of her thoughts. it had been over a year since she moved into nona's, but she had continued to allow her hair to grow down to her waist throughout that time. before the three words found her through her social media feed, she loved the length, loved her curls, loved the one hundred - give or take; three was all-too forgettable - brush strokes that she ran through the red every single morning, but now, she took notice of the weight the strands held. she felt top heavy, like she'd tip over if she leaned too far one side.

the scissors could fix that. a few snips, and she'd be free.

but cat couldn't do it. even considering reaching out to slip her fingers through the handle made her hands tremble and sweat. the past needed to be let go of, but it took the form of cuffs, and she couldn't maneuver the key herself. she needed help, and it seemed there was only one person who she was willing to ask.

"jade?"

her call seemed to reverberate off of the walls, but no verbal answer retraced its path. instead, the creak of footsteps approached from the kitchen, and jade's figure materialized in the bedroom's doorway. she didn't hold the angry expression that she perpetually seemed to wear at school, but a neutral one, which was just about as close to a smile as she ever seemed to get.

"what?" she finally asked, body leaning into the wooden frame. her hair, cat noted, only fell just below her shoulders when it was curled. she couldn't help but wonder how many memories it could hold in comparison to her own.

cat ran one thumb over the other, jaw tightening for a moment as her question bubbled in her throat. when jade's eyebrows met in something close to annoyance, cat spoke. "will you cut my hair for me?"

there was a pause from the other as the request processed. "what like, trim it? doesn't nona do that for you?"

"no, like-" cat took her index and middle finger and pinched a chunk of hair between them, its upper half stopping at her collarbone. there was a time where it sat there, and for some reason, she felt most compelled to return to that point. "that much. i wanna start over."

jade's eyebrows knitted again, but this time, she didn't look annoyed. "yeah, if you want, i guess."
with some slight hesitation, she left her post in the doorway, moving to the nightstand to take the pair of scissors from its surface. the quick tilt of her head toward the bathroom door prompted cat to follow her in.

the two set up in front of the mirror, cat seated on a stool and jade just behind her with scissors looped over her fingers. cat watched the other girl's eyes in the mirror as they traced the pattern of her hair in search of a start. it felt as though her lungs were being squeezed in a fist; for a moment, she considered calling the whole thing off. but then, she heard the first snip, and saw the reflection of a six-inch-long clump falling to the floor. a small gasp escaped her lips, which then pulled themselves into a smile. she already felt lighter.

the duration of the haircut was spent in silence, cat looking patiently through the glass as the rest of her hair met the first piece at her collarbone. stray strands caused her arms to itch, but her focus was on the new girl in the mirror. she looked older, less tired, happier to be alive. she was beautiful.

a set of fingers combed through what was left, and two pairs of eyes met in the reflection. "like it?" jade asked, placing her free hand on cat's left shoulder. she was smiling with her teeth, a luxury cat rarely ever got to witness.

"i love it," cat said. "thank you!"

hesitantly, jade placed a gentle kiss at the crown of cat's head. neither would acknowledge it, at least for a few weeks, but it left a warm tinge on cat's skin in its wake. her departure from the room was silent, leaving the redhead to examine the aftermath of the favor. maybe this new version of herself would finally be able to consider how she felt about jade.

the remaining hair only held her memories with jade, she decided. she could let go of the rest, of her tortured past, of nights spent cowering beneath her bed and days spent clinging to innocence that had been ripped away long ago. but midnight freeway drives and sunrise watching and unacknowledged kisses could stay.

with one last glance toward the girl in the mirror, she left to collect the broom.