Till the End

chapter 23

Rayan

I drown in guilt as I press another kiss on her hair. I hate the fact this is the first time in her room and it's because she's not in her best state, because of me. And especially after an argument. I never want to lose this girl. The heartache will be too much for me. She's magical. And I don't want to let go of her. But I'm afraid she will. When she wakes up, I know she will push me away. The thoughts that I'm scared of the most eat up my mind and fill my eyes with tears. I could have had the chance to have all of her but will I lose her?

I almost fell asleep with a weird emotion taking up most of the space in my soul. Fear. Feels like fear. And rightfully so. Just like Dad always says, "Actions have Consequences", and this is a consequence that'll cost me my heart.

"Rey," she muttered again, and my heart filled up with warmth knowing that she calls out for me even when she's asleep. My name on her lips is all the reassurance I need.

"Yes, sweetheart?" I reply, keeping my voice as soft and low as I can.

"Don't let go of me please, ever" she whispers, and I tighten my grip on her.

"Never baby, never"

And knowing she doesn't hate me, at least not yet, I fall asleep.

Maya

I slowly open my eyes and I find myself curled up with Rayan in my bed. I'm mad at him, I can't be wrapped up around him. I try to wiggle free from his grip but when I try to do so, he tightens his grip on me and the pain in my head strikes again. A groan escapes my throat and another set of memories come rushing,

flashback

I keep my eyes fixated on how Rayan is looking at Aarya while I lean against the threshold of the school theatre. He wraps his arm around her shoulder. And gives her a taste of the ice cream cone he is eating from. I feel like seeing them so close, so in love, so comfortable, will burn my eyes, and it probably is. Ira clears her throat which makes me come out of my stupor.

"Maya looking at them won't do you good. You should move on baby. I hate seeing you like this." Ira says as she runs her hand on my back, trying to comfort me.

"I'm not hurt-" I lie but she cuts me off, "Don't you dare lie to me, Maya. I can see the love in your fucking eyes."  she fake gags, "You love him like it's as simple as breathing. I'm afraid, if you don't stop this you will hurt yourself."

"I know, I'm sorry for lying," I say, trying to put an end to the topic

"You're not yourself ever since they got together. It hurts me, Maya. You're very important, not just to me but more people than you know. So, don't let some stupid jock like Rayan take the Maya I love and cherish away from me" she says, still not letting go of the topic that I'm trying my best to avoid at the moment.

"He's not some stupid jock Ira. He's everything to me," I say, just to earn a tired sigh and Ira rolling her eyes at me.

"You don't mean that Maya," she says, her voice hinting at some of the anger brewing inside of her.

"I do Ira. I do. He has changed me in ways I didn't know I could change to be. I hate him for doing that but he's my first love, Ira. He is my stupid jock. And it's not that you're the only one who hates how I love him, I do too. I hate knowing the fact that I would do anything if it meant that I could get one whole day in which he would reciprocate the same feelings for me."

"Maya. I'm sorry- I"

"All I know is that I would do anything if it meant that he would be here with me, right now. And I hate that I don't care how long I need to wait for him to love me back because I know he's one of a kind and you know the worst part? I don't think I'll ever stop loving him, Ira. I know he will never be mine but I just can't stop myself from hoping that maybe one day he will, he will be mine.