Khushi
"What did he do?" Suraj asked, turning to me after we settled down inside his car to wait for Jiji.
I shook my head slightly as I covered my face with my left hand for a few seconds. It's okay. I'm not with him anymore. I'm with Suraj. I'm fine. I'm safe.
I dropped it from my face and then looked at Suraj on my right, who was looking at me with a V deep between his brows and a worried look on his face.
"Don't worry about him." I said it quietly.
"I'm not worried about him." He replied. "I'm worried about you!"
"Then don't worry about me. I'm..." I nodded as I swallowed. "I'm fine."
"Really?" He asked as he turned on his seat to look at me.
I nodded again and tried to force a smile with it, but I failed.
"Then why were you crying?" His brows deepened.
"I... I wasn't crying. I was just..." I looked down, and I found I was still holding his hand.
"Are you trying to save him for something he did?" Suraj interrupted.
I looked up before asking, "Why will I do that?"
"Then why?"
I licked my dry lips and sighed, "You were right." I nodded slightly. "He... confessed to me today."
I felt Suraj's hand go still beneath mine as his face suddenly turned sad and lost. But that didn't last for more than a few seconds before he pulled his hand free from mine and looked me in the eyes before asking, "And... What did you say?"
I bit the corner of my lips as I avoided his question and instead said, "I'm transferring my whole team back to the headquarters. And if AR wants to meet, then only the design department is allowed to come to the headquarters. But if their CEO wants to meet, then you'll have to come to Delhi." I looked down at my left hand. "Although I admit it will be tough for the designers and you, there's nothing else I can offer."
Suraj stayed quiet as I stared at my palm, but when he finally broke the silence, he only said, "If that's what you want!"
I pressed my lips briefly together before nodding. "That's what I want!"
I turned my hand over, and like always, the deep knife-cutting scar was the first thing I noticed... A scar for a lifetime...
"You didn't answer my question." I looked up at him, but he sat facing away from me while gripping the steering wheel tightly.
I slowly started scratching the wound scar on my ring finger, turned my head away from him, and stared ahead at the AR exit porch.
"I told him I didn't feel for him anymore. But he didn't want to accept it. Then he asked why I was scared to admit my feelings. Why was I hiding it?" I paused as I felt Suraj's eyes on me. "Then he saw you. And he asked if you were the reason why I was lying."
I swallowed deeply as he waited for me to continue. but I took my time to gather all the strength from within me because I was going to do something, which, well, I am going to confess to him and I might get rejected.
"And what did you say?" I heard his impatience in his voice.
I huffed out a breath and clenched my hands together tightly.
"I love you." I closed my eyes and waited as my breath caught for a heartbeat. Then another. And another, but no reply came from my right. He's going to reject me. Oh, Devi Maiya, why didn't I just wait till we reached home? At least I would have had a place to hide my face from this situation...
"You..." His pause made me look at him. "...still love him?"
My mouth fell open with shock as I heard him. Is he... is he that clueless? I thought I was an idiot, but he...
"I love you!" I repeated slowly with wide eyes and parted lips. "That's what I answered."
He stared at me for a moment, then turned away from me and nodded while saying, "That was your answer."
I took in a shuddering breath as I waited for him to say anything, but he just stared ahead with clenched jaws. So, I repeated again and spoke as clearly as words would allow me.
"I said to him," and I kept my eyes on him. "I love Suraj!"
He blinked once before he turned to face me, then blinked again.
"I love you, Suraj." I stared at him in the eyes as...
"I don't want to stay here for another second. Let's go!" Jiji's voice came from behind, followed by slamming the door. Jiji?
We both looked behind, and there she was, sitting on the back seat while doing something in her bag, before she finally looked at us.
"What?" She glanced between me and Suraj with a questioning gaze.
Suraj shook his head before I could say what timing she had. I gave him a look before turning away from them and staring out of the window with a sigh.
Maybe I should have waited until we reached home.
*
I sat with my laptop open on my lap in our Delhi apartment, but I was more interested in eating the freshly made Jalebi because I had no place to keep these last 40 or something Jalebi after six containers and also because I had a lot of thinking to do, so I needed it.
It was almost 6 in the evening and exactly two days after that confusing confession that I had made to Suraj, who has completely been out of touch for these two days. I haven't heard from him, I haven't seen him, and I can't do this anymore. So, after a lot of convincing, Jiji finally agreed to ask Suraj and Jijaji to come over for dinner because it's our last day in Delhi. Which is the reason I gave her. But the truth was, I wanted to talk to Suraj. I wanted to get a clear answer from him about my confession. But... as the clock is ticking, it doesn't feel like a very good idea anymore.
"Khushi?" Jiji called from the kitchen.
I sighed loudly over my life decisions before grabbing the empty container of Jalebi and standing up to go to the kitchen.
"Khu..." Jiji stopped halfway for a second. "What is wrong with you?"
I sighed again as I placed the container on the countertop and looked at her.
"Do you want any help?" I asked with another sigh.
She stared at me for a long moment with an expression that I didn't have any energy to read, then shook her head at me and said, "Nevermind. I'll manage here. Just do me a favor and ask Nikhil and Suraj how long till they reach."
I nodded like a soulless person as I actually heard what she said, then snapped my head to look at her with wide eyes.
"You... you want me to call Su.. Suraj?" I asked.
She glanced up from whatever she was doing with slightly furrowed brows as she said, "That's what I said, Khushi!"
She then pressed her lips before saying, "At least, change into something good. Can you do that?" Then suddenly a small smile appeared on her lips as she added, "You want to go in front of Suraj like that?"
