Too Late || JeongCheol

Ch.6 : Feelings, All Over the Place

Seungcheol tried so hard to pretend like nothing happened, he really did. He reassured everyone that things were back to normal between him and Jeonghan and that they had "cleared things up". But sometimes when he found himself all alone in the dorm room, he couldn't help but break down and he could cry himself to sleep. He figured that Jeonghan wanted nothing to do with him after his confession that night. Why would he? His best friend liked him, no loved him. Besides -- who needed him when Jeonghan had Hyungwon? 

After all he and Jeonghan hadn't had a single conversation - alone - after that night and he could feel his heart slowly tearing apart, fading into the depths of darkness. 

Of course, in front of the members, they would smile and cuddle and talk like nothing had happened. In fact, it was the time Seungcheol would pretend. Pretend that Jeonghan's relationship with him wasn't utterly ruined and that they had truly returned to normal. It was completely unhealthy and his anxiety was getting worser day by day. And as any good friends would his won noticed too, Mingyu was one of the first. 

And when they suggested he go on hiatus, there the feeling was again. Guilt, disappointment, annoyance for letting his members down. He was the eldest, he was the leader, he was supposed to support them, lead them be there for them, not be on a fucking wheelchair while they perform alone without guidance. He had told himself how much of a pathetic excuse of a leader he was. He had sat in his bed that night and reflected. 

- - - - 

Jeonghan had felt hopeless. Seungcheol and him rarely talked now. He knew he should probably go and have a talk with him, but what would they event talk about? their relationship was beyond repair at this point. He hadn't been out to see Hyungwon at all either. The older had called him multiple times and even texted him saying he was sorry and that he was only drunk. But Jeonghan ignored it all. 

He was in a little pit of fire and he was rotting in hell but there was no way to get out. None at all. No doors, no hatches, no little patches of air, nothing. He was trapped, and he had no idea for how long. 

But it also gave him the time to think about his feelings. What he felt towards Seungcheol and maybe Hyungwon. That night something happened. Because since then his heart would leap out of the sky whenever he saw Seungcheol. But it's not a new feeling, it happened many times before but Jeonghan chose to ignore it. Really, there was, at that time, no reason to ponder upon it. But now after Seungcheols confession something lit up inside him. But Jeonghan couldn't figure it out. Or maybe he knew - but he was too scared to think of what would happen after. 

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 The real crime is me listening to Rodeo by Lah Pat while writing this.