Glass Breaks Too Easily. (Eyeless Jack x Reader Book 2)

Chapter Fourteen.

Key:

Toby's Telepathy: Bold Italic

Jack's Telepathy: Italic Underline

(Name) Telepathy: Italic

Tim Telepathy: Bold Underline

My conditioning had prepared me for almost, almost, any situation. Sitting under the stars in an open clearing about a mile away from the camp with the love of my life wasn't something I had been prepared for.

Just when I thought my strength had been perfected, tested against any opponent and victorious against every last one, I lose to the stars. I lose to the comfortable silence between us. I lose to seeing Jack really cry; not the black tears that would stain his face when he faced immense anger or complete anguish, but real, crystal clear, salty tears coming in streams down his cheeks. They mixed with the tar that was always around his eyes, creating a sort of semi clear semi muddied look, but the sentiment was all the same.

I had really hurt him. Some sick part of me felt a little triumphant; perhaps him feeling a little pain was justified after all he had done. But, had he really done anything?

He had left with a promise of returning which he never fulfilled. Was that reason enough to hurt him like this now? If it was, why did it feel so, so completely wrong?

I thought I wanted to hurt him, to make him jealous, to force his feelings out of him for the longest time. I wanted to hear him say with his voice that he was sorry, that he knew what he did was wrong and that, should I give him another chance, he'd never do it again. I didn't want to make him cry, to hurt him so deeply that his words spewed from his lips without him even thinking. I didn't want to hurt Toby in the process of getting my makeshift revenge; kissing him wasn't a part of that plan.

That was what was confusing. I had feelings for Toby, but I was completely in love with Jack, and I couldn't hide from it anymore. I couldn't hide from either of them anymore and had no plan to.

I knew that whatever Jack and I decided, whatever we settled on in that little clearing would have to remain between us, at least until the fight was over. It would be extremely hard to keep a secret from Toby; he could, quite literally, see right through me.

"Was your entire plan to hurt me?"

His voice had never sounded so shaky and solemn; I knew the whole situation had been too much for him. I hoped there was some kind of recovery from this for all of us; maybe there was some universe where Toby wouldn't end up absolutely hating me, some universe where I never kissed him and everything was still somewhat normal.

"In some ways, yes," I exhaled, a strained sound as I stilled myself and desperately tried not to cry. The stress of losing Ben, having no idea where Tim and Brian were or even if they still were alive and being hunted by a makeshift killer clown with incredible senses weighed heavily on my shoulders. Finally, I couldn't control it anymore. The first tear slid down my cheek as I rapidly tried to dab it away, but it was no use. It was too late.

"You really, really fucked me up when you left. For a long time. Actually, I still don't think I'm fully okay. Obviously."

I let out a small laugh at the last word, trying to ease some of the tension as well as laughing at myself for how ridiculous all of it was.

"I know. I thought...I thought I was protecting you. I thought I was protecting you and myself. I didn't think you were going to survive the conditioning."

I scoffed, a bit of frustration washing over me. "That wasn't your decision to make. You expected me to die before you gave me a chance to live,"

He nodded wordlessly, intently listening. For once, a conversation between us wasn't going to be one-sided.