The Sun Sets (Nick/Vernias)

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For orangegalaxiez (oh I finally figured out how to tag people.)

He leans forward on the railing that winds its way across the edge of the road. Past beneath the railing, one can see sand for miles on end, the ocean waves gently lapping the beach's shores before shyly pulling away, and the tiny figures of the people scattered all across the beach. The sun is slowly setting in the horizon, painting the sky in beautiful warm shades. He is cast in that light too, accentuating his cheekbones and his brown eyes that softly shines and reflects its light. It's hard to fully read his expression as he gazes out seemingly at nothing and everything, but there's a certain warmth to it. A small breeze passes by, gently playing with his hair on its way.

There is truly something mesmerizing about glancing over and watching Nick stay in that position. Vernias, standing next to him, raises his camera and quietly snaps the button, taking a photo. He  lowers the camera and checks to see how it looks. Good, but if he had to be honest, it just didn't feel the same. Vernias doesn't know how to describe it in words, but existing in the moment... feels different.

His eyes are drawn towards Nick and he wants to reach a hand out because he is just that mesmerizing and beautiful basked in the light of the dying sun. To come closer and admire with his hands and his lips Nick's beauty. But he fears that this moment of serenity will break, and he doesn't want that.

Let's stay like this a little while longer...

"Oh, did you take a picture of me?" Nick asks, turning to look at the camera in Vernias's hands. "Can I see?" He gestures for the camera, and Vernias hands it over to him. He examines the photo shortly and grins.

"Damn, I look nice here," Nick says as he hands the camera back to Vernias. "If only you had told me you wanted to take a picture of me... I would have posed. But thanks, Vern."

"No prob-" Vernias starts to thank Nick, but he falls silent as Nick turns around to fully face him, his eyes softening as he gives Vernias a smile just as soft and warm. Vernias's breath catches in his throat and his heart beats just a little faster. His hair is still softly flying in the wind. Vernias fiddles with his camera, knowing it's the perfect moment to take another picture, but he finds himself staring into Nick's eyes, completely drawn and so hopelessly lost.

He doesn't notice Nick standing closer to him caressing his face until he feels warm, soft lips brush against his own and then the only thought in his mind is returning said kiss, the camera forgotten in his hands.

————————————————————

Vernias groans as he opens his eyes, squinting as the sunlight from his window floods his room. He slowly walks over and closes the blinds and flops back into his bed. He's not completely sure what woke him up. It's not like he had anything urgent to do today, so he hadn't set an alarm.

Not like there'd be anyone to wake him up either if he did oversleep.

He closes his eyes and lays down for a while, but he doesn't fall asleep, even though he feels tired. Or maybe he doesn't want to get out of bed. The difference doesn't matter much to him anymore. He just doesn't want to get up. But his stomach growls and he grumbles as he forces himself to crawl out from under his blanket. He walks out of his room and towards Nick's and knocks on the door.

"I woke up pretty late," Vernias says, his fist still pressed lightly against the door. "I'll be downstairs eating breakfast."

Vernias stands silently in front of the door. No response. He waits for a few more moments before silently turning around to walk to the kitchen. There's no need to wait for a response from Nick. He wasn't going to respond.

He's never going to respond.

Breakfast flies by without much thought. Vernias just quickly cracks open a few eggs onto the pan, and then slides them onto the plate after they're done cooking. He's thankful it's simple and easy to do because he doesn't have the energy for it. He'll probably order something for lunch, but that's something to worry about later. He eats his breakfast in silence. He used to not mind at all because of course he's eaten alone by himself before, but the atmosphere of the apartment feels much emptier and heavier than before.

Not the same anymore without...

Vernias finishes his breakfast and leaves his plate in the sink before heading back to his room. Upon entering his room, he stands still, thinking about what he should do, before deciding to clean up his room. It's in a state of greater disarray than he would have liked  with clothes scattered absentmindedly across the floor and paper spilling over from his desk. He picks up all the clothes on the floor and tosses them into his hamper.

He approaches his desk and sighs as he gathers all the papers up into one pile and places them on the side of his desk temporarily. He starts going through the drawers in his desk to see where he could put those papers when something catches his eye.

There's a photo poking out from underneat miscellaneous junk. Vernias pulls it out of the drawer slowly and gently and brushes off the dust with his hands before staring at it. He knew which photo this was immediately as soon as he had seen it.

It's the photo I took when we were at the beach...

The memories of him and Nick walking hand in hand by the beach and him taking the photo, entranced by Nick as they both lean over the railing to enjoy the view, resurges suddenly. Vernias slumps into the swivel chair by his desk, still staring solemnly at the photo. He had forgotten that he had taken this photo. How long has it been? He racks his brain for the answer.

3-4 years... I think?

3-4 years since they walked together side by side by the beach.
2 and a half years since they had decided to move into a new apartment together.
6 months since Vernias and Nick both pulled out engagement rings to give to the other, laughing and crying with joy over the timing and the prospect.
2 months since Vernias sat by the hospital bed, squeezing  Nick's hands tightly as Nick lay there, comatose.
3 weeks since the coffin is slowly lowered into the ground and it hits him that he's gone like a bucket of cold water.
3 days since he's visited Nick's grave to leave another set of flowers by his tombstone.

Vernias clutches the photo in his hands, which are slightly trembling. Tears splash onto the photo and slowly roll off. He'll go clear out the rest of his drawers later, and maybe try to dig up all the other photos he took while they were together. Maybe he'll be able to relive his time together with Nick that are preserved in these photos just for a little longer. Just for a little while longer until time marches on and Vernias follows after it. Eventually, Vernias would have to move forward.

But today, he'll sit down in his chair as he pictures Nick's smile from that day when the sun set, and grieve. Grieve over the things that were, that is, and that couldn't be.

I miss you.

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