Wish we were 28... still (A RohiRat Fanfiction)

Remorse

Congrats, Virat told himself sardonically, on reaching new lows.

Shouting at Rahul. Of all people.

Hanging up the phone on him. Twice.

Saying such crazy things Rahul was forced to hang up on him.

Of. All. People.

Virat shrank deeper into Samaira's panda swing, wishing he could make himself as small as he felt.

Shouting at Rahuliya, it appeared, was much like shouting at Bhuvi. Worse than a reverse UNO card, because there at least you meant to hurt the opposition and got hurt in turn. Shouting at Bhuvi and Rahul was stupid from start to end, because you didn't even mean to hurt them.

Just the thought of hurting Rahuliya hurt him. He would never want that. He'd been shouting at Rahuliya nonstop today, but he hadn't wanted to hurt him at all like he had with...Rohit.

It was funny.

Speaking even a little impatiently to Rahul brought on instant remorse to Virat. Shouting the way he had today drove him crazy with it.

But he could shout the worst things at Rohit, and never feel a sliver of remorse. Like now. He didn't feel any remorse. (And he shouldn't, he reminded himself, because it hadn't been his fault and mind you, Rohit had shouted right back, unlike Rahuliya.)

It was funny.

Was it because he was that secure with Rohit?

Rohit-and-Virat.

It had been permanence so long, it had almost become a background. Unnoticeable, but unremovable, too.

But so was Rahul-and-Virat, and Bhuvi-and-Virat, and Jinks-and-Virat, and... They were all his permanents. He occasionally did shout at Jaddu or Ash or Shikki or even Jinks, but they were unremovable, too, and they all knew it.

Yet, he could never say to them the horrible things he could say to Rohit without a second thought.

It was probably just because it was Rohit.

Virat's lips curved in a smile unconsciously. The moment he became conscious of it, he stopped smiling and scowled.

Clearly, it was time to remove one annoying background.

_______________

Rahul was glad it was only Jassi when his phone rang that night.

"Hello," he said glumly.

"I know," said Jassi grimly. "What does our Board have against warnings?"

"Huh?"

"What d'you mean? That's why you sounded like the world's ending, right?"

"Oh—" It dawned on Rahul he had been down even before the phone calls he'd risked to make. "Oh, yes, that too. Dunno why they can never give a warning. Dunno why they have to take such stupid decisions at all."

There was a moment of silence.

"How is Virat bhaiya?" asked Jassi.

Rahul wondered if he could lie his way out of it. "Have you—have you spoken to him?"

"No, he's not answering any of us. Neither is Rohit bhaiya. I thought Virat bhaiya would have spoken to you, though."

"Well, he-he did." No, he could not lie his way out of it, because what would be the point? "Which was a bad idea. Rohit and Virat are both horribly furious."

"Why?"

"From what I know, Virat went over to Rohit's place and they fought—"

"Hm," said Jassi, like it didn't surprise him at all.

"I tried to get them calm down a bit...but when I spoke to Virat, he got more furious because he thought I'm taking Rohit's side...when I spoke to Rohit, he got more furious because he thought I'm taking Virat's side, and—it's a disaster, basically."

Now Jassi sounded stunned.

"Are you stupid?"

"What?" asked Rahul, wondering if he'd misheard.

"You never try to step in between Rohit bhaiya and Virat bhaiya when they're fighting." Jassi still sounded stunned.

"Did you, er, ever try?"

"I'm not stupid."

"I get it, but did you ever—?"

"No, I didn't try because I'm not stupid," said Jassi impatiently. "Have you learnt nothing at all in eight years, Rahul?"

"I didn't think—"

"Clearly." Jassi was a mix of exasperation and sympathy. "Wait, there's some damage control to be done. I'll call Jinks bhaiya. He can go over and handle them both."

"No, don't send him!" said Rahul, alarmed. "Virat and Rohit will explode on him, too."

"Not on Jinks bhaiya," assured Jassi. "He has a lot more authority on them than, well, you."

Rahul felt, if possible, worse.

"All right," he said, trying to sound casual. "Talk to him...Virat and Rohit could do with a great deal of calming down."

"Rahul," said Jassi in a tone that said Rahul hadn't managed to sound that casual. "Don't worry about it. They don't mean anything they yell when someone tries to get in between after they've yelled at each other. Bet Virat bhaiya calls you any moment—"

And, unbelievably, Rahul's phone rang briefly with a missed call that very instant.

Virat.

"What are you, an astrologer?" Rahul demanded. "You talk to Jinks, Virat's calling."

"Told you," said Jassi smugly.

__________________

"Rahuliya," Virat began, straightaway coaxing. "I didn't mean a word I said, I'm so sorry I was rude to you, I'm so sorry."

"Oh, um," said Rahul, "yes, I know, don't worry."

"I'm a despicable jerk at times," said Virat mournfully. "I was so mad at Rohit I had to vent it out somewhere, and I did it on you just because you were being nice—like always—"

Rahul, stupidly, took another chance despite Jassi's warning.

"I know you were mad at Rohit, I can see you're still mad at him..." Rahul hesitated. "D'you know he knew what you were about to tell me now when you called? He knew it exactly—he reads you so well, I don't suppose even I can do that..."

"And?" This time Virat just sounded severe, not rude or angry.

"And—so can you. It's just that this thing BCCI did, without a warning...it caught you both off-guard. I think that's the reason you're both unable to see the other is as hurt as you are—"

"Rohit has no reason to be—"

"Virat?" said Rahul. "Just imagine the reverse one, all right? Imagine Rohit was captain, and the Board just announced one day you were to replace him. D'you think you'd be happy? Triumphant?"

"No, but—"

"But you're convinced Rohit is," said Rahul wryly. "I'm concerned about your intelligence sometimes. It seems to be going backwards."

"Shut up," said Virat with venom. "All right, say Rohit's not much happy—that's not the point anyway. If you heard the way he talked—!"

"And the way you talked, too, I guess," muttered Rahul.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing. I'm just saying once you're feeling a little better, maybe you should try talking to Rohit once more..."

"Can we please stop talking about Rohit all the time?"

Rahul knew that tone, and didn't wish to escalate it.

"All right," he said, sighing, and consoled himself with the thought that Jassi would be talking to Jinks right then, and surely Jinks would figure something out.