The Book Of Waifus (NO REQUESTS) (18+)

Harley Quinn

ALL CHARACTERS IN THIS STORY ARE 18+ AND OF CONSENTING AGE!

(A/N: This does NOT take place in the Arkham universe. This is its own separate universe. I just really like Harley's outfit.)

(Harley Quinn belongs to DC Comics.)

Valentine's Day. A time for lovers to come together and cherish one another. Though some love this day, others don't. Because some people unfortunately don't have the special someone of their own. Fortunately though, I have a special someone. Just not exactly the most...sane special someone.

One evening in the shit hole called, Gotham City. I'm cleaning the dishes while listening to the radio until the door to my apartment flies open.

Harley: (exaggerated low gravely voice) Honey, I'm home!

Y/N: (feminine sounding voice) Welcome home, dear. How was work?

It's a fun little routine that my girlfriend and I would do whenever she would come home. She shuts the door behind her and walks into the living room while carrying a couple of plastic bags.

Harley: As well as can be expected, hon.

The crazy girl sets them on a corner of the room and walks to the kitchen. She approaches me, turns my head to hers and steals a kiss.

Harley: Mmmmwahh! Happy Valentine's Day, sweetie.

Y/N: Happy Valentine's Day to you too. I'm almost done with the dishes. I'll be with you in a minute.

Harley: Sure thing. I'll be relaxin' in the living room.

Harley walks out of the kitchen with a sexy strut, she winks at me and leaves my sight.

Now for those who are confused as to what's going on. Yes, Harley Quinn, the former henchman of the Joker, is indeed my special someone. You see, around a year and a half ago, Harley broke up with the Joker for good and decided to make a name for herself in the criminal underworld of Gotham. She would work with Poison Ivy and/or Catwoman on whatever crime she wanted to commit, despite how sloppy she was at it.

One night, Harley broke into my place through the fire escape to avoid the authorities. She pointed a gun at me so I wouldn't call for help or overpower her. As the night went on, somehow, we slowly started to have chill conversations about life and all that jazz. Morning approaches, we share a handshake and bid each other farewell. Despite how the news would say how much Harley Quinn is a complete psychopath...well she is, but she's actually a fun girl to hang around with.

A couple of days later, she broke in again to hide from the police. But this time, she didn't point a gun at me, instead gave me an enthusiastic wave like we're best friends hanging out. I made some coffee for us, had a chat or two, and watched T.V. I even allowed her to crash at my place for the night. I slept on the couch and she slept on my bed.

A few months pass and Harley and I are really digging each other. We would have great times together like hanging out in the city, but Harley would wear various disguises since she's a wanted criminal. We would go to the movies, go to shooting ranges since Harley wanted to teach me how to shoot a gun in case if I ever get mugged. We would even go shopping, well, Harley would go shopping while I would carry an overwhelming amount of shopping bags for her. I thank God that she spends it on her own money. I saw the receipt and I would've had a heart attack if I had to spend it.

I even got to meet her friends Poison Ivy, a.k.a., Pamela Isley and Catwoman, a.k.a., Selina Kyle. Selina is a really chill girl to hang out with and would sometimes flirt with me. Harley would jokingly tell her to pump the breaks a little. I could tell that Harley was jealous due to her tone of voice. I felt comfortable around Selena since she's just a cat burglar. It was Ivy that I was nervous to be around since she can control plants that can rip a man's body in half. She can even mind control people to do her bidding. Fortunately though, Ivy promised Harley that no harm will come to me as long as I treat Harley with respect. But if I don't...well, you can figure out the rest. Surprisingly though, Ivy is a pretty cool girl when she's not terrorizing Gotham. She taught me how to care for plants, and she even lets me keep some for my own. As long as I keep watering the plants and keep them healthy. Overall, Ivy and Selina are cool people, despite their criminal history.