Afterward: Of Sword & Shield (Emperor x Tav)

1

“Hello darling.”

You know that voice, that voice that has sung like a preaching choir from the churches of Selûne and beyond that. Your beady black-like eyes turn to meet their gaze, and their ruby red eyes stare back at you as the two of you are alone.

Astarion. You acknowledge in silent thought while not saying a word in return.

It was obvious as to why he was here. This scenario had already played out in your head ahead of time. Before you agreed to turn into a full-out illithid to conquer the Netherbrain with the Netherstones, and way before that too.

“I have been thinking about…freedom,” he says to you, his voice hesitant and full of deep controversy. “How I am free of Cazador. How I have a whole new life stretching out in front of me.”

You wait silently for him to muster up the courage to express his feelings further.

“And you're—well…what are you?” He questions, the expressive creases encasing his pale, familiar, thin lips frowning in doubt. “Is the person I loved still in there?”

You stare at him for a while, contemplating the questions asked of you and taking in their struggle to make sense of their confusion and their sorrows. Besides, who are you to stop them? Wouldn’t that make you what they despise the most? Another Cazador, all over again, and that was one of many things you would prefer not to be to them.

“I am still me, but I am also more than that. I have evolved beyond the person I once was,” you reply.

“I see,” he accepts your answer, his voice hesitant and his body language fidgety. “…and how does this…newly evolved version of you feel about me? Do you…still want to be together?”

Because you have already prepared yourself for this specific conversation, you do not stumble over your words in front of him.

“What do you want?” You earnestly ask of him.

He sighs lightly, and his silver brows furl ever so slightly. “I don’t know. It is a big change. And as much as I care for you…I don’t know. Maybe…it’s better if we are friends for now?”

You watch him fumble with his words some more. He was always bad at expressing himself when it came to sensitive things, such as this, but seeing him muster up the courage to mutually settle things with high vulnerability was also satisfactory progress for him. It was better than him simply disappearing from you—not that you would be surprised by such an outcome.

“You’re precious to me, and I don’t want to lose you, but this is a lot,” he confesses. “Perhaps we will adjust. Perhaps we will not. But you mean too much for me to walk away.”

You take it all in. His words. His confusion. His worries. His everything. And you bask in every remaining second with Astarion that you still have before mutually agreeing to part ways.

“I would like that,” you softly say to him.

He looks at you with concealed surprise, as if he were expecting there to be more of a struggle than an upfront and unruffled response. “So, would I. And I hope we can find some place for love in our new—whatever this is. But even if we can’t, I will never forget the person you were. I will never forget what you did for this world. And what you did for me.”

Silence. You cannot bring yourself to say anything else after witnessing the muscles on his pale face turn into deep grief, upheld by a false and delicate smile he has a bad habit of doing when hiding his pain.

“Thank you, my love.” His voice but a faint whisper filled with layers of heartache.

***