Till the End

chapter 28

Maya

The last few weeks have been so goddamn addictive. I've rejected intimacy for so long that I don't remember the last time I experienced it before this drug disguised as a man walked back into my life.

It's been nothing but a daze, just perfect.

I know I'm overthinking, and it probably means nothing, and I'm a hundred percent hallucinating, but I could've sworn to god, that I heard him whisper 'I love you' to me while we were in my bed that night. And it honestly just seems too good to be true, too unrealistic for my own good.

And this whatever ship that we have got going on, is like really bugging me, just please clear the fucking elephant in the room, please. I know it's too early to put a label on it, on us, but he can't just keep doing this cute shit for me, like I'm his girlfriend, and not say a fucking word about it. And the insecure side of me, which somehow finds a way to bleed into this facade I put up, makes me wonder that, maybe he does have a fucking somebody in his life. But then again, the only thing that brings me the tiniest piece of peace is that none of us have referred to another as a fucking friend. I mean I wasn't going to, I was just terrified that he might.

"Can I know what's going on behind that pretty head of yours?" Rayan says as he walks into my office, a quick smile spreading across my face. Talk of the Devil.

"I can assure you that there is nothing pretty about what's going through my mind," I reply and a wave of embarrassment pulses through me as I realize that I just said that, out loud.

His eyes widen a fraction, and he takes a leap towards me. "Well, now I can surely tell that my innocent Maya, wasn't thinking of anything all so innocent," he says. Fuck, no please I wasn't having any wet thoughts about him, I mean I have had them in the past for sure but like not right now. God, help me.

"Really now? What is that you're thinking of, that you think I'm thinking of?" I say and stand up from my seat, walking towards my bookshelf, trying my best to hide this fucking blush of mine.

"Don't run baby, not when you started it," he says, and walks up to me, holding me by my shoulders and turning me around to make me face him, and I gasp.

"I- didn't," I stammer. Oh my god, I can almost feel everyone's gaze on me, through my office glass. It's not like I haven't heard all the comments of these little employees working under me, talking about how Rayan enters my office, and how my lipstick is smudged almost all the fucking time. And no I wont fucking fire anyone because this is a workplace and gossip just follows and as much as I don't want to admit it, because I maybe even like it a little bit.

"No baby, I know," he says and frees me from his hand and walks towards the other end of my cabin, picking up the remote that controls the glass walls of my cabin and presses a button that makes them opaque, to take away the peering eyes from the both of us.

"Perfect," he murmurs under his breath and walks back towards me. He takes my hand in his and leads me to my seat, only for him to sit on it.

"Now sweetheart, answer my question. What is it that you're so down about since morning" he asks, as if I'm his fucking employee or something. Well, maybe it's because I'm too damn confused about what we are, and I'm too terrified to let you go after everything that we've done together the last month, and I just cannot keep going on about this without getting a perfect explanation from you, or I don't know, I don't fucking know Rayan.

Well, that's what I would've said, but I don't. I don't say a fucking word. I know I can tell him everything and anything, just everything clearly about how I feel, but I can't get myself to that.