Living a Lie

I Kissed A Boy

⚠️ *WARNING*⚠️  THIS CHAPTER INCLUDES HOMOPHOBIC SLURS

Running away and pulling Zeek by his hand seemed to not be as easy as I thought, but eventually I found a classroom away from everyone that happened to be unlocked without anyone in it. Leaning against the wall of the darkened classroom and breathing heavier, I looked over to Zeek who had a shocked expression on his face, but I just smiled. I pressed my palm to the side of his face, brushing his hair out of his face in the process. We both looked each other in the eyes, the same ones that captivated me so much, so round and emerald like in colour. We got closer before suddenly our lips touched each others and neither of us made any sort of move to stop it from happening. They were so soft, it was like they were made specifically to fit my own. Moving in sync, I shifted my hand to the back of his neck and my other one to the small of his back.

Quickly realising that I was essentially making out with a stranger, I pulled back from him.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have done that." I stammered before running out of the classroom, seeing the two people who had just witnessed what happened, Daniel and Lila, both having equally as shocked expressions after what they just witnessed. Neither of them knew I was gay, and I didn't want to explain everything so I just ran. Ran out the school gates, down the street, and into out house, much quicker than the ten minutes in took to walk here.

My mum isn't home so I should be on my own for at least a few hours, unless my brother followed me.... Slamming the door to my bedroom shut, I jumped onto my unmade bed and grabbed my phone from my pocket. It buzzed twice whilst the screen turned on, revealing two messages, one from Lila and the other from Daniel.

Lila: We need to talk. Meet me at the park in 20 minutes.

Great, now I had to figure out an explanation for not only her, but my brother too...

Danny: What the hell was that? You really are a fag? 

Today is going to suck, he's probably going to tell our mother, WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?! She can't find out, I'd be kicked out or sent to some conversion camp, that can't happen.

Just as I was plotting multiple ways to kill my brother, I heard the door to the house open and close. Great he's here. Hearing footsteps heading towards the door, I sat up, Daniel walking in, a scowl on his face.

"So when were you going to tell me that you take it up the ass? How am I even supposed to react? What did I do to deserve a fag for a brother. Why can't you JUST BE NORMAL!" He screamed at me, my eyes shifting to the floor.

"I wasn't planning on ever telling you, you're a homophobic piece of trash, and you'd never understand. You just judge people for being who they are, and loving who they want to! Do you really think i'd want to choose the hard route in life, do you think I want to be gay?!" I responded, reprimanding him. Whilst we continued to argue I didn't hear the sound of the garage door opening, the footsteps heading towards the open door where we were screaming at each other. I didn't hear her pushing the door open further, and stepping into the heated room.

"I take it the first day wasn't great..." My mum said to the both of us, clearly and thankfully not hearing what we were arguing about. What was she doing home? It had only been about 30 minutes since I got home. Hopefully she wasn't told about me kissing another boy, that she was only here by pure chance, and wasn't about to send me off with some priest to "pray the gay away".

"W-what are you doing home?" I stammered out.

"I got a call from the school..." she began. DAMN IT! She must have found out, someone else must have seen. Why did I even have to do that! "They said you guys ran outdoing the third period, I dint think it could be true, so I raced back home and here we are. What happened? Are you guys okay?" She continued, thank god she didn't know. But that could change, Daniel knew, he could tell her and it would ruin my life, he knew that.

"It's Dante, he-he's... I saw him... with a guy." Daniel said, looking guilty when he muttered the last part of the sentence. All I could do was stare at him, hurt in my eyes. He'd told her, I'd be sent away. I'd never even get to see Ezekiel again, he'd ruined my life.

"What do you mean Daniel, of course he'd be making friends, that's all it is right?" She said, trying to mask her feelings with a smile.

"Yeah, right...." Daniel said, deciding against telling her the truth and looking over my wobbly stature as I began to steady myself.

"Okay, well now that you aren't going back to school for the day, and I'm off work, how about we have a movie marathon?" Our mother offered, faking a cheery mood to counteract what she was thinking. Both of us nodded as to stay on her good side for the time being at least. Daniel walked over to the kitchen to grab snacks so I walked in after him to confront his actions.

"What was that about? First you out me to mum and then you don't? Are you trying to play with my feelings?" I asked, a look of disappointment flooding over my features at the realisation that my brother would truly betray me and side over me, yet he decided to not. Mum would still be suspicious of me, but that's all it was, hopefully.

"Yeah? Well I didn't want a fag for a brother yet here we are, now you'll have to keep my mouth shut. I wonder what it would cost you..." he whisper-yelled at me to keep our mother, who was in the other room, from hearing what we were talking about. 'Of course he would want something in return for keeping his mouth shut, but what?' I thought. How far was I willing to go to keep my secret...

"What do you want Daniel..." I asked, trying to keep calm, yet the glare on my face stated otherwise.

"Oh not much... just Lila. You of all people know I've liked her since 4th grade, when you brought her over for a birthday party. But she has her eyes set on someone else... You. Though now she's aware of your predicament, I doubt that crush will last much longer. So I want you to help me get with her." He answered, the smirk on his face told me that he wasn't kidding around and that he would out me if I didn't help him. How the HELL was I supposed to get Lila of all people to like him, I mean she hated my brother the sane way I did. This was going to be impossible. So why did I agree to it? To save myself, sorry Lila, though she probably hates me too now.

After grabbing the popcorn and some chips from the cupboard, we both went back to the lounge room, pretending the conversation never happened. This whole family was full of liars, and that wasn't to exclude myself. I mean I've been lying to my family for as long as I can remember, always hanging out with girls but never harbouring feelings for them. I thought I was just being weird and what I was feeling was normal.