Creative death threats ;D

Creative and funny-ish DEATH THREATS XD

       <WARNING DARK HUMOR> <WARNING DARK HUMOR> <WARNING DARK HUMOR>

Dear friend, Fuck off... Yes, yes I know at least one of you have ever wanted to say that to a friend... well here are some threats to get them to shut their mouths. <use with caution>

1. Sometimes I just want to shove a shoe down your throat, then rip your insides out, and when you pass out then wake you will be strapped to a metal chair with saws on each of your limbs. Slowly, each limb will get cut off. Then I will laugh and end with shoving a few spoons down your (very much non existing) throat. (and also cut your throat open so I can get the shoe cause I'm going out for dinner XD)

2. I will get your first period teacher to go and bore you until your ears fall off. Then make you listen to EVERY SINGLE HORRIBLE SONG out there, And if that doesn't work, I will get every single fan of Taylor Swift and tell them you make a threat and a actual plan to assassinate Taylor Swift and make the fans chase you until you break your legs (and Swifties can get crazy) And then get your body and throw it off a building (that was one at least 2 world records for its height) and which you will die. ;D

3. I will skin you with a cheese grater, and draw pictures with sharpie on you and post it online. Then I'll smear your insides with tuna, hang a fishing hook down your throat, and hook out your organs one by one. Then I'll use what's left of you as a jumping/skipping rope (idk what people call it) and sell It online (maybe I can make some money...)

4. (this one is not for everyone) I will force you to walk in a elevator and make you say "I hope you all know why I gathered you here" and if you don't I will shove a grape so far down your throat your breath smells like grapes for weeks (or you js choke to death) 

5. Im going to count to 5...If I get to three and you're still here I will crush your skull. If I get to four...I'll rip out all your limbs, slowly. and then I'll cauterize the stumps. If I get to five...Im going to throw your torso off a 20 story building.. then I'll jump down myself (and land on my feet) to see if your still alive, If your still alive I will finish the job slowly..

I hope you guys enjoyed! If you did I'll make a part two and I take suggestions In the comments! Have a great day! (and yes you can use them in your own wattpad or irl that is my purpose! and I'll do shout outs!)