that one stained shirt | mark lee

morning call

The next morning hit me like a truck.

When I opened my eyes, the sun shone brightly over the bedroom, and I threw my blanket over my head in an attempt to hide from it. But to no avail. I had no idea when I went to sleep, my body felt exhausted and a strong headache pulsed through my temples.

Most of the memories from last night floated in a blur.

I reached for my phone, recalling Sarah and Haechan and a lot of drinks in between. I needed to check up on her. But as I stretched my hand, there was nothing. Not only my phone but also no nightstand. I turned my head to see what was happening.

I sat up straight, regretting it right after, and looked around. This was not my room. Not at all, even though my dress was lying over a chair in front of me. I glanced at myself. A white oversized T-shirt and a pair of gym shorts. Those definitely weren't mine.

I jumped out of bed. How the hell did I not remember getting here?

"Good morning, Jess," sounded a voice and I turned my head. Mark was standing between the doors, body leaning against the doorframe. I blinked a few times before answering.

"Hi," I said quietly.

"You want breakfast? I wasn't sure if you liked pancakes so-"

"Water is fine, thanks."

He just nodded and left. I laid back heavily and hid my face in my hands. I wanted to scream. How did I not remember getting back with Mark? After all-

Then a memory flashed in front of my eyes.

I ran out of the room, calling for Mark, when I saw him in the kitchen, doing something on his phone.

Just like last night before I sat down with him.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice full of genuine concern.

I shook my head and clenched my fist, hoping to prevent any burst of anger or frustration. "Not really," I admitted and looked straight into his eyes. "I have a question."

"Then ask," he motioned for me to go on. "You've asked me some already."

Another quick flash of yesterday's conversation blinded me. What else is there? Maybe I don't wanna know.

"Did we sleep with each other?" Mark only sipped from his glass, so I asked again, voice full of evident impatience. "Did we?"

"No," he shook his head. "We didn't."

"But..." I knew my mind was saying something different. The darkness of the room. The need to be with him. I was sure were so close we could have kissed. Then take me. Take me so that can be where it ends. "I said..."

"You think I'd be with you just because you said so? While you were drunk? I do not take advantage of people, Jess. The less of drunk vulnerable women."

Guilt stabbed me in the heart. Of course he was the last person I'd ever expect to do that.

"Don't apologize," he cut me off before I could say anything. "I don't know what you recall, but I won't say anything more about it. Let's just keep it as it was till now and focus on what's important."

"Sure," I whispered. "As you wish."

Then he handed me my water and led the way to the living room. I forcefully chased away any thoughts. When we sat down, I took a big gulp and looked everywhere but Mark. I could not bring myself to.

"We're officially out, by the way," he informed me, and I nodded in acknowledgment. "The manager told me it's going fine. They had taken a few photos yesterday so Naver is boasting. I haven't read any fan reactions yet though. I don't think I want to."

"Why? Are you afraid they'd hate you?"

"Me? No."

"Then why?"

I felt him adjusting in his seat. "I don't want to see anything that'd hurt you."

I glanced at him, only for a moment. "Nothing will hurt me."

He chuckled. "Yeah, I saw that."

I ignored that comment. "Do you think they'd make you break up with me?"

Mark shrugged and ran one hand through his hair. A sigh left his lips. "I hope not."

Well, it wouldn't matter, would it? If the hate broke our contract, we'd just part in peace and live our own lives. As I was thinking about it, that was even more efficient than parting in silence. I turned to Mark fully.

"Maybe we should let them do that."

"What?" he folded his arms over his chest a raised an eyebrow. "Are you crazy?"

"Of course not. Listen," I raised a finger to emphasize my next words. "Let's make them break us up." He blinked in disbelief. A smile crept on my lips, and I did my best to not erupt in full laughter. "It's a brilliant idea."

"Have you hit your head or?"

"What? No!" I smacked his bent leg lightly. "I'm saving us time and work."

"I should take you home," he said at last and stood up to take his car keys. "Come on."

I obeyed, but only because there was a little smile tugging at his lips. "Wait a second." I got my dress and purse and met him at the front door. "Ready."

The drive home was silent. Not in an uncomfortable way, but I could tell that Mark was thinking. Hard. He didn't spare me a glance until he stopped in front of my apartment complex.

"Are you okay?" I asked him when he wouldn't look me in the eye."

"Yeah."

"Then why are you quiet?"

Mark finally flashed me a smile. "Because I can't believe you actually suggested something like that. Like, yeah, I could have expected it from you-"

"Excuse me?" I faked offense and my eyes widened. He laughed and glanced out the window on his side. "What do you mean?"

"You always say things like that. Like they just slip from your mouth and leave me speechless."

We were both laughing now and a warm feeling tugged at my heart. "You better get used to it," I said and opened the door. "Cause until my genius plan works again, I'm not going anywhere."

I walked around the front of his car to get to his side. He let down his window. "So make sure to enjoy every little bit of it."

And I walked a good runway walk to my building. I glanced back once to see his car joining the main road and a grin settled on my lips.

Cause at least we're real friends now. We've got to be.