-This is a true story that describes my journey through a difficult and complicated pregnancy. It includes my birth story and my feelings on being a new mother. Please enjoy and feel free to talk to me if you have any questions, comments, or if you'd just like to chat. Thanks for reading!-
My fiance and I had been moved out and on our own for a couple of months and had finally gotten all of our things situated in the new apartment. It wasn't the biggest or nicest place ever, but it was inexpensive and cozy. It was great for us. Once we got everything done, I started to plan our wedding, which would take place in June. We had been engaged for a couple of years but didn't start any serious planning until we were done with high school and out on our own. While I was planning, I started to get these crazy ideas. I'd plan my wedding and try not to think about things, but I just couldn't help it. I loved kids. It started to seem like everyone was having babies or talking about babies, and I started to get sucked in. The more and more I was exposed to it, the more I realized how much I really wanted to have kids of my own. At first, I thought it was just a silly idea. Soon though, it turned into an obsession. I wanted to take a new step in our relationship, I wanted to be a mother, I wanted to talk to my fiance about trying to conceive.
One night at dinner, I figured that coming out and just telling him would be best. I was nervous and thought that he was going to call me crazy. Surprisingly though, he was much more open to the idea than I thought he would be. We talked about it for a little bit that night and there were more serious conversations about it that we had in the following weeks. It was finally decided that I would stop taking my birth control pills and we would see what happened. I started to track my cycles so I could figure out when the best time was for me to get pregnant. All of the girls I knew that had babies just got pregnant unexpectedly, so I figured it was just easy, but I tracked everything just to give myself a good chance.
It was harder than I thought it would be to get pregnant. Luckily, I didn't have fertility problems or anything, but it seemed to take forever. I feel really bad for the women who have to try for years to get pregnant. There were months of disappointment before it actually happened. I still remember how upset I was whenever I'd take a pregnancy test that turned out negative. I'd hold the test up and examine it for a long time, but it was never what I wanted to see. Not until our fifth month of trying, that is. It was early February and the past couple of months had been stressful. We had Christmas in December, which was great, but we had a pretty stressful month during January. We didn't even focus on trying to conceive like we had in previous months, so when I took that pregnancy test in February, I was shocked. I had a friend who thought that I was showing signs of pregnancy. I was so tired that I would fall asleep and nobody could wake me. I felt like I had to pee constantly. I noticed the changes but honestly did not think they had anything to do with being pregnant. I thought for sure I was just experiencing a urinary tract infection and that I was just overly tired from working a lot. Either way, I was going to take a test just to get my friend to shut up. She was out in the main room just waiting for me to test, my fiance was asleep in our bed room. I finally gave in and went into the bathroom to test. I just wanted to get it over with so that I could show my friend it was negative and move on with my life. Usually when I tested, I'd dip the stick in and then set it on the counter. I wouldn't look at it until I knew the time was up. Every time I looked at it, there was no second line or plus sign. I expected this time to be no different. I even held the test while it was working because I knew nothing was going to happen anyways. I didn't feel any suspense like I normally did. I was so sure I was pregnant every month before this, but this time, I knew I wasn't.
I was wrong. I took an Equate brad test that shows a plus or minus sign on the day before my expected period. The test window filled up with dark pink, which is normal and shows that the test is working. The control line appeared as usual. Within fifteen seconds or so, the dark pink in the test window started to fade. Only it didn't fade into a minus sign this time. Twenty seconds after taking the test, and I had a really dark positive pregnancy test in my hand. I covered my mouth and gasped, I started to sweat. For the first time, I was actually starting to doubt myself. It was real now, I was going to have to go through pregnancy, labor, delivery, and motherhood. Part of me thought that it was a false positive though, so I walked out to the room that my friend was sitting in and all I could say was "What is this?". I was shaking and so was my voice. She looked at it and just started freaking out. She was so excited and was telling me that I was pregnant. I was smiling and almost crying at the same time. I woke my fiance up and told him, he didn't believe me. He told me to wait and take another test to be sure. I calmed down and knew he was right. I didn't want to rely on just one test. Let's just say, I was definitely pregnant. Ten tests or more later proved that to me.
