𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚

015.

time had passed. having my momma here bought us all together as one happy blended family for the holidays. after my birthday, it wasn't too long until christmas rolled around. usually, momma would come here and we would spend the holidays together before she flew back in the new years to new york.

but now times were different. her daughter was in a loving healthy relationship, who also had a family. so why not blend us all together and spend it together as one big happy family. so that's what we did. leading up to the day, momma and angel would go out for lunch together. momma was so adamant on taking bey to the market, to show her some beautiful jewellery that would compliment beyoncé so much.

i didn't have to be present for them to get along and my momma made that known. told me, she wanted to go out with beyoncé alone, to get to know her soon to be daughter in law. also asked bey if she could spend time with the kids alone. taking them to the park and for ice cream. the kids coming back later that day, biggest smiles on their faces, telling us that they love gammy carol so much. just as much as they love their other grandma.

just as much as beyoncé and my momma were building a relationship, so was me and beyoncé's mama. i spent a whole day with mama tina, cooking her favourite dish, well more like learning, going for brunch, we even went to an art gallery that she was so passionate about. furthermore, showing me her greatest passion, fashion. teaching me how to use the sowing machine. it was as if i gained a bonus mom, just as beyoncé did.

both mothers also got along like a house on fire. they were out for lunches, making dinner together, gossiping about each others lives as if they knew each other their whole lives and didn't live in different states, sipping on wine all night long.

just seeing our families grow as one made me and beyoncé flourish within our relationship. left us to have everyone over at my place nearly every night for dinner and i had more space for everyone. even having kelly, michelle and tyla over with the family, because they were family to all of us just like the rest.

then came new years. i had surprised everyone, renting a place in the hills, a space big enough for everyone as my place was big but not that big for everyone to have their own respected areas. but if it meant paying for a place for all of us to stay together to bring in the new years, i was willing to spend the money.

once the clock struck 12 we were shouting happy new year, i was embraced by the ones i loved, including my woman who i was so grateful for, the biggest blessing i received in the year. we all stood, watching the fireworks shooting up into the sky from our view.

this was the first new year i spent in a relationship and now that i experienced it, i never want to go back. this is what i want for the rest of my life, with beyoncé, and our family.

that night we laid in bed together, but not before praying. praying to God about all the things we wanted to encounter this year, prayed for us, our loved ones, our health, our happiness and our relationship.

and now here we are, tomorrow we are flying to new york with my momma as she goes back home and i introduce beyoncé to my upbringing. she couldn't wait, was even talking to momma about being able to look at all my baby photos in the house, watching home videos of me growing up throughout my childhood.

and don't get me wrong, i was excited to bring my love back home to let her see my world before i moved to houston, but i was fearful of being open. i wanted to be that safe space for her, allow her to see that she can be vulnerable with me because she deserves to have that comfort person for once. but i wasn't ready to do the same in return.

i was so used to falling back on myself, having no shoulder to lean on, be independent, cry myself to sleep at night, not let anyone have the opportunity to call me weak when i was having a bad day.