Is It Over Now?

Chapter Ten

"Today we are going to be practicing the Patronus Charm!"

Remus stood with the rest of the Marauders as the small Professor went over the incantation one last time before allowing students to try it. James was smiling like some sort of maniac as he held his wand, eager to be the first in their year to get the charm to work and the wolf couldn't help but smile at the sight, at the innocence of it and the fact that another had already beat the chaser to it.

"So we know that I'm going to get it first," James started, his voice filled with the boyish cockiness that time never did seem to drain from him, not yet at the least, "but what about second?"

"Wormtail probably," Sirius said with a grin similar enough to James's that one truly could mistake the pair for brothers if they wished to. The rat almost seemed to be blushing at the small sign of approval until the eldest Black began to speak once more. "Merlin knows Wormy has had the second easiest life out of the four of us."

"Oi!"

As the three bickered Remus wanted to tell them that it wasn't about how easy your life had been, that half of the time it wasn't even about the pleasant memories that everyone always seemed to be so focused on, but a feeling of warmth. That feeling that makes one human. But the wolf kept his mouth shut as his name wasn't even brought up within the discussion, it hardly was these days and the teen knew that it was his own fault because he had been with the fifth years - with Regulus - and Sirius couldn't stand the supposed slight that this was.

"Wands at the ready," Professor Flitwick instructed from atop his stack of books. Remus raised his own with an intention that he hadn't come into the lesson carrying, but was there now and refused to die as easily as a muggle flame. "Now cast!"

The wolf closed his eyes and thought of summer days in a park, the sun kissing his bare skin as fingers glided across it as if he wasn't something horrid. Lips pressed against his own, and Dora's laugh as their small group ran through the empty castle on a Hogsmead weekend to enact one of her newest spells. Pranks that Remus, Barty and Evan got away with, and sly smiles over breakfast. Dancing in the air with shoes spelled to dull the pain that each step so often brought him these days, Regulus flying alongside him. The taste of a Mandrake leaf in his mouth and their strange groups laughter at its horrid taste.

" Expecto Patronum !" The wolf cried with a surety that none of the others within the room could claim.

Silver pooled from the boy's wand, as bright as a full moon as it swelled and gathered into a familiar shape that ran around the scarred teen as if searching for another boy to be there.

The Marauders watched as a silver fox, quick and sly, darted around the classroom as the charms Professor exclaimed in a pleased surprise. Three of the Gryffindor boys were surprised by the shape that it had taken, having expected a very different creature to appear, if one at all. But Remus thought that it was still as perfect as the first time that he had seen it.

"It's beautiful," Lily complimented softly as she and Marlene and Mary walked over, wands held loosely in their hands and soft looks on their faces as they watched the spectacle creature.

"It suits you," Marlene decided as she stared at it for a moment longer.

"Yeah, Mr. Marauder," Mary chimed, a mischievous grin on the girl's pleasant features.

The other three boys didn't say anything as their eyes followed the fox until Remus broke the spell and put his wand away, so the wolf didn't say anything either when the other three eventually managed to produce spectral protectors of their own.

He knew that there was a barrier growing between them, something that could be fixed if only someone were to reach out a hand, but at the same time Remus was tired of trying to be someone that he was not. Of trying to pretend that he was as good as the others were, that he wasn't a monster hiding in the body of a man.