protecting yourself

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Billies pov:

"Good morning cutie " I smiled at Elle walking in the kitchen half asleep

"Morning Bil" she said in a baby voice

"You hungry?" I asked

"Mmm" Elle came behind me and just hugged me

While Elle was hugging me I finished making avocado toast

"Here baby " I said

"Mmm" Elle squinted her eyes at me

"What's up with the squinting ?" I asked

"Nothing " Elle turned away and started walking to the bathroom

I chased her ,when I grabbed her I turned her around and she kissed me

"Mmm,what's that for hm?" I asked

"Because you're cute" Elle smiled

I smiled back at her

Elle's pov:

Me and Billie were having an amazing day then we took a nap and when we woke up we both were a little angry

"Ugh it's so hot in here" Billie threw herself out of bed

"Hey you threw more blanket on me , I'm hot too Yk" I said

"Well take it off" Billie rolled her eyes 

"Fix ur tone Eilish" I snapped

"No machi " Billie snapped

"Come here now " I sat up

Billie sat down in front of me on the edge of the bed with her back turned towards me

"You wanna know the reason we didn't start dating last night?" I said with anger filling in my system

"Cuz it was impulsive right?" Billie responded with a nervous tone

"Yes and because we both shut down and act out when it comes to emotions" I said

" not really" Billie looked back at me

"We just were yelling at each other over being hot and blankets " I replied

"So what are you saying ,you don't wanna date me " Billie started getting angry again

"No , I'm saying I'm protecting your feelings " I said

" no you're protecting yourself ,you just don't wanna surrender yourself to a relationship again" Billie started to tear up

"Well i'm sorry that I have trauma ,but don't act like you don't have trauma from past relationships " I said tearing up as well

"It's different "Billie shut down

"It's not as different as you think , I was mentally and physically abused by my ex"I said

"Well then I guess it's not so different "Billie said

"Ok we need to work this out because ,I love you Billie ,I do so much ,I hate arguing, I hate when you're mad at me period because I love your attention "I said

"I love you too Elle ,so much ,that's why I was asking you out but I understand where you're coming from and we should of talked that out before we blew up about it " Billie replied

I smilied and then made up and kissed

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