The heart wants what it wants

Chapter 23

Sheryl 

"I'm gonna punch him in the face the next time I see him," Gauri almost shouted which awoke the baby. 

"Shh," whispered Sheryl. 

Gauri picked up the baby and started soothing her while pacing around the room. "How can he break up just like that? You should have demanded him to explain himself." 

"How can I demand anything when he had blocked me?" Sheryl answered. "And after fifteen days, when I went back to Mumbai, he had moved out. Bastard had even paid the next month's rent in advance. The same day, I resigned from my job, threw away most of the stuff in the house, and moved back to Bangalore." 

"Damn," muttered Gauri. "Next time I'll really punch him. In the nuts." 

Sheryl simply smiled.

"It was one of the worst times of my life. I felt so worthless. Like I did not deserve any happiness in my life. It took me a while to come out of it. Shahswat helped me. he was my rock. he did not ask any questions about the breakup. Instead, he stood with me through thick and thin. At the same time, he was there was Karthik too. Helping him with his move." 

"I know. Shashwat has talked a little bit about this. How he felt torn between you two. Like a child amid his parents' divorce." 

"He is the best. Don't leave him, Gauri," Sheryl pleaded. 

"Why will I leave him? he's stuck with me for life," Gauri said confidently. " I still don't understand why Karthik broke up with you." 

"I guess I should have seen it coming. He was acting all possessive before that. I wonder why?"

"Sheryl. Confront him next time," Gauri suggested. 

"I don't want to. I don't want to rehash the past. Maybe he was bored of me. Maybe he thought his parents would not accept me. Maybe he was having an affair. Who knows and who cares?" Sheryl shrugged. 

"You don't want to rehash the past or are you scared of rejection again?" pondered Gauri. 

"I guess I am scared. When he broke off with me, I was torn from the inside. My worst fear had come true. I don't want to get my heart broken again," Sheryl answered. 

"I guess it is understandable. In that case, you should move on," Gauri announced. 

"I have moved on, Gauri," stated Sheryl. 

"Really?" 

"Really" 

"Then you should put yourself out there," said Gauri. 

"Put myself out there? Like what put an advertisement or something?" laughed Sheryl. 

"Exactly," Gauri picked up her phone excitedly. "Are you looking for something fun or serious settling down?" 

"What?" Sheryl's eyes widened. 

"If you want to have fun, then we'll open a Tinder account for you. Or if you wanna get married, a matrimony account." 

"I don't want to meet guys Gauri. Not for marrying and definitely not for fun," Sheryl shuddered. 

"So, do you want to be alone for the rest of your life?" Gauri asked genuinely. 

"I don't know. But it is scary to even think of a relationship. On the other hand, I sometimes crave companionship. Someone to share the highs and lows, to live the mundane everyday life, to hold hands, to just be."

"How about you give it a thought? If you think you are ready, we'll get you started on a Bumble account." 

"What's Bumble?" 

Gauri laughed, "Oh, Sheryl! You have a lot to learn." 

******************

Sheryl turned off the kitchen lights and sighed. It was a long day. Her mother was sick with the flu. Sheryl had to cook her something in the morning and then go to the cafe. She came back early to make her mom dinner. The house was in total disarray. So, she also had to do a quick sweep and mop the floors. She was beyond exhausted. She went to the room and lay on the bed. Her muscles protested. Her brain convinced her to pop a painkiller. But she resisted the urge and picked up her phone. 

She had a few messages from Karthik. After her cathartic session with Gauri the previous week, Sheryl did not feel like talking to Karthik anymore. Her old feelings were stirred again and she was honestly pissed off about him meeting the other girl. She felt that nothing would come out of being friends with him. She simply stared at his messages. 

Karthik: hey 

Karthik: Something wrong? You did not answer my call. 

Karthik: Sheryl are you still freaked out about the kiss? I thought we were putting it behind us. 

Karthik: Sheryl. I am sorry. Please talk to me. 

Karthik: I'll not kiss you again without your permission. Please don't shut me out. 

 Her fingers itched to reply to his messages. Instead, she pulled out her step-brother's contact and saw that he was online. Instead of sending a text, she called him. 

"Hey," he answered. 

"Hi," she said. "Why are you still awake?" she questioned. 

"I'm on call. Night duty," he replied. 

"How's it going on?" 

"It's stressful. I am sleep-deprived and surviving on coffee," he sighed. 

"It's gonna get better. This is all worth it when you become an attending surgeon" Sheryl encouraged him. 

"That's what I tell myself every day in the mirror. Anyway, how's the cafe? I so want to see it. I saw your Instagram posts and I am very impressed." 

"It's running well. My efforts are bearing fruit. I don't want to jinx it though." 

"You are not jinxing it. Trust me, the cafe's gonna grow more." 

"Thanks. I needed that confidence boost." 

"Sheryl, you don't need my words of encouragement. Your hard work is enough." 

"Thank you. I'm gonna let you get back to work. I need to sleep."  

"Ok, Cinderella. Bye." 

She laughed at his nickname for her. She had good people around her and she had shed all the toxic relationships like her father, her sister, and to some extent Karthik. She did not want to entangle herself again in one. With that thought, Sheryl slipped into a dreamless slumber.