Izzy & Noah

Sixty-Eight: Friday, Paris, and Us

I was always searching.

Looking for love, dreaming of love, the great rainbow love that carries you to the heights that make your world more beautiful.

And I fell in love, if I can say that twice.

When you first fall in love, you are young and inexperienced and you think you need a person next to you who looks like you, who is you.

And after a while you realise that's not the case, that it's worth changing for the right people, but not for the wrong people.

So, you pick up your bags and you go and you look for another love, a love that is the exact opposite of you.

A love that is not like you, a love that makes you wait, that makes you feel bad, that mentally abuses you.

Love? That is not love at all.

So again, disappointed, you pick up your bags and go.

You go and look.

You put your luggage down because it seems to get heavier every day. You change certain things about yourself, your appearance, your hair, your make-up.

But most of all, you change what you think about.

And that's when HE comes.

He comes into my life unexpectedly, I wasn't prepared for it, it's like all the fairy tales I've read in the world.

If Noah is my Ying, I am his Yang.

All my life I have been searching for love, for someone to love me, to accept me as I am, with all my faults.

Noah.

And I think I have reached my maximum in love. Because deep down I know that it is a love that teaches you, that is patient, that changes you, that makes you grow.

I lean against my suitcase as a panic attack passes.

What was that? Luka, yes, he is different, but I am not ready to go back, to fall.

Why should I change the man with whom I have everything, who has loved me, respected me, taught me, helped me, for someone who is wilful, stubborn and different?

I went to Noah's room when I finally managed to put my suitcase in the corner.

I knocked on the door.

"Noah. Are you in there? "I ask, a bit nervous, as if I've done something wrong, it's just that my thoughts are a bit too loud in my head.

" Are we finished? "He asks, playing on the computer.

I sit down on the bed.

I don't like his cold attitude. Did I do something wrong?

" Yes, I have. "I kicked my legs out of the bed." Fine. I'll take it with me to work tomorrow. Would you be so kind as to park it in the hall? "She says, still looking at the screen.

Has it heard my thoughts? Can it read minds?

" Good. "I jump out of bed and leave the room.

Obviously, I have done or said something wrong.

Who would know?

I park my suitcase in the hall and brush my teeth. The reflection in the mirror has been exhausting lately.

Grey.

Laughter, life is full of grey. Not because of Noah, he's like the sun between the clouds.

Ever since I became a nurse, I have regretted being one, because as beautiful and good as this profession is, it has its dark sides. And lately, because it is not often, but it happens, people are becoming more and more impatient, rude, verbally abusive.