landlost | ONC 2024

fifteen.

EVEN THOUGH THE Ark was complete, there was still much to do. The final few crops had to be harvested, our stocks counted, and all the while, Noah kept casting nervous glances at the sky, like the slowly-darkening heavens could split open at any moment and flood the land.

But even the clouds that cast shadows over the forest couldn't dim the brightness I was sure shone from my cheeks and eyes, that I could feel lighting my every step as every second — one second closer to finally marrying Ham — passed. I was impatient, and couldn't focus on the tasks at hand.

"Na'el!" Ezmara screwed up her face, tossing a bundle of poorly-wrapped skins to me. I flushed as the twine I'd used to seal the ground barley into its bowl unravelled in my hands, nearly spilling the powder we'd be able to make into dough, with enough luck, on the Ark. "What do you call that?"

"Distraction," I mumbled, trying to retie the twine more slowly, under her gaze. But my fingers were trembling, and between each knot I made, I tried to flex my nerves away.

"Seems more like an accident waiting to happen, to me." Her words were harsh, but her eyes stayed on my hands, softening from being narrowed in impatience. "Thinking about marriage has addled you, and you're no good to me, shaking like a lamb."

She stood up from her seat on the log by the firepit, and beckoned for me to follow her. I obeyed, trying to rub face free from my flush of embarrassment as she led me to the women's tent.

I wished that I could deny it, but she'd been right. My excitement seemed to have overtaken my ability to function normally, and actually help the others in their preparations. I wondered if Ham felt the same way, then chided myself for my foolish thoughts.

Focus, Na'el. Focus.

Ezmara emerged from the tent after a few moments, and passed me some delicate garments that I held gingerly in my hands and regarded with awe.

"Ezmara, these are beautiful!" I unfurled the folded white tichel — fit for a marriage — and then the matching white simlah, its sturdiness feeling heavy and good in my grip. I tucked them both under my arm and then gave her a hug, my cheeks split by a grin.

"It's the least I could do," Ezmara said, shrugging my compliments off. But I didn't miss how her eyes glowed with pride. She rested a soft hand on my shoulder. "You and Ham have waited so long for this. And I know that you're ready, no matter how nervous you're feeling right now."

She laughed, her face instantly becoming more youthful in her mirth. "Elohim knows I was sweating puddles in my wedding garb, when Noah and I were married! I was so embarrassed."

Imagining Ezmara and Noah young and in love made my heart tighten with longing. I hoped Ham and I could be together as long as they had, through all their tribulations — I had never considered before how Emzara must have felt, her husband and sons taken away from her, enveloped in their development of the Ark. Alone until Elohim gave her daughters in the form of Ada and Sedeqet.

And soon, me.

"Thank you," I said, again, truly meaning it for so much more than just the clothes. "I'm sorry, Emzara, that I was so awful to you when I first came here." Thinking of it again made me dig my nails into my clenched palm. I'd been such a fool then, fighting against the people I hadn't yet known truly cared for me.

"Oh," Emzara waved her hand dismissively. "I forgave you for all that long ago. I know what it feels like, trying to settle into a new family. All the women do. But," she smiled knowingly, looking beyond my shoulder, "you soon realised we weren't all that bad."

I turned to see who she was gazing at, and my grin widened at the sight of Ham. My betrothed. What would it be like, calling him my husband for the first time? I tried to imagine the feeling, but didn't have time to before Ham hobbled towards me, and Ezmara knowingly retreated, gently carrying my wedding clothes away with her.