Ninjago Oneshots!

Fears (second part of Cole's Closet Story)

Kazutora_myStorys :)

TW - Mention of Selfhatred, abusive words and Homphobia.
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No one will ever love you!, the voice screamed again.

Cole shook his head.

They will ban you, kick you out of the team.

That is not true.

His friends will understand.

They will...

They must...

It wasn't until something wet touched his hands, that Cole realized he was crying.

Like a stupid baby, he scolded himself.

But it doesn't matter anyway. No one could see him, nor hear...-

"Cole, if you don't open this door immediatly I'm gonna smash it", Nya.

Of course she had followed him.

If there was one thing he ever so respected about her, it was the way she cared for the people she loved.

Even though they hurt her in the past. Did some things she didn't deserve...

Like using her to cover your own helplessness. Cover your sins. The fact that you are... disgusting..

A sob slipped out of his throat and Cole quickly hid his head under the neckline of his shirt, crying quietly.

It was bad. It was awful. Terrible. What would his father think? He'd probably disown him.

Bad enough he had already let him down by becoming a ninja and no dancer.

And now, coming out as gay... No, he could never.

Cole could easily settle down with a pretty girl, marrying, getting children, living a lie, making his father happy.

Making his friends think he waa normal.

His friends...

Nya was still banging on the door, Cole couldn't decide if it was still knocking or her attempt to "smash" it down.

But either way - she was loud.

And they were on a tiny ship. The Ninja's room was like 2 doors farther.

Wu's 4 doors.

It was already hard enough to slip out of it, without making a noise, whilst falling over Jay's shoes.

So it was just a matter of time until...

"Nya, are 'ye fine?", a sleepy voice called over the floor.

Lloyd.

Shit.

Cole quickly tried to dry his eyes with his sleeves.

No need to panic. Nothing had happened. Nothing needs to change.

"I'm good, but Cole-", Cole unlocked the door before Nya could finish, quickly stepping out of the bathroom not daring looking one of his friends, that stood like royal guards down the hallway, in the eyes. As he made his way back to his bed.

Jay grabbed his wrist, stopped him.

"You okay, buddy?"

"Yeah, just... felt a little.. off. I'm better now, thanks", he mumbled as he tried to unwrap Jay's fingers from his arm.

"Cole. Don't try to lie to me. I know you too well"

"Ah, don't you use my own words against me", Cole groaned, knowing this was exactly what always tells Jay, whenever the zaptraps tries to find lame excuses for obvious lies about his well-being.