All My Stars

Chapter 1

My name is Scarlett. I'm just your ordinary girl trying to figure figure out life. I don't really know the purpose of my life yet. Some say it's in what you find joy in, like a hobby then it turns to a real job. Some say we're living to serve God. I've yet to find something I find joy in.

I think I find joy in Love. Love is a beautiful thing. Just two people against the world fighting it together. I've realised that I've been the happiest when I've got a crush on someone. That's really bad I know.

And while some may ask, " Don't you find joy when you're with your friends or family?"

And yes, I do find joy with them but it's not really the same. Friends change from time to time, family has their own lives to deal with but when you're in love, the only thing matters is the both of you.

Love. What is love? Some may say love is when you love a person and they love you back. Some say love isn't real. I say love is loving someone unconditionally even knowing that they wouldn't love you back.

I feel like my true love was Jasper. Seeing him on the first day of second grade made my heart beat fast. We became best friends. We were inseparable. He was so sweet and caring. At the same time, he was protective and knew how to have fun. I always loved being around him.

We were always together. Even after school, we would be texting until midnight. We would talk about everything and nothing at the same time. We would talk about personal stuff and it wouldn't get weird between us. There wasn't once a awkward silence between us.

Once we were talking about the stuff we would do together in the future. I laugh when I look back at the memory. As if we would have a police at our doorstep trying to find us. I can't believe we wanted to be a criminal in the future. We were some wild kids back then. Playing Charlie-Charlie in school trying to summond ghosts when everyone went for recess. Talking so much that the teacher would send us outside the class. We would get in trouble everyday at school. He was my partner in crime.

I pretty much knew everything about him. He looked tough on the outside but he was so sweet on the inside. He has been thru so much. I always noticed that he got compared to his sister Sirena at school a lot. I can't imagine what he must have been going thru at home. He wouldn't really opened up about what was going on at home but when he did I always listened. His dad is a taekwondo master so generally Jasper and his siblings took taekwondo. I guess that's where Jasper learned to fight. I didn't like when Jasper fought, he would always get in trouble and his parents would get called to school. I knew what his dad would do when they go home. I really felt sorry for Jasper but at that age I didn't know what to do. All I could do was be a friend for Jasper. Everyone saw him as the bad boy who caused trouble but I knew why he acted out so he didn't seem bad to me.

One day, during art class, Jasper and I fought. I couldn't remember exactly what we fought but we got in trouble, real trouble. The teacher for the first time called my parents. Jasper and I always got in trouble but I knew my limit. It wouldn't be till my parents got called to school.

After that day, I wasn't allowed to talk to Jasper again. My parents forbided me to talk to him. Of course I wasn't going to listen to my parents. This was Jasper, my best friend.

For a whole month it was school holiday. I couldn't wait to see Jasper. He didn't text me and I had also forgotten about it.

Finally, school reopened. Before I could get a chance to talk to Jasper, the teacher had assigned us to our class for this year and I had realised that Jasper and I wasn't in the same class, for the first time. For the whole day, I tried to talk to Jasper but I couldn't even get a glimpse of him. I went home upset but still hopeful to try the next day.

The next day the whole world was in lockdown. It was the Covid 19 virus. The whole world was going crazy over it and I was just thinking of how to talk to him after school starts.

School finally started after 3 years. It has been 3 years since I saw Jasper. I haven't talked or seen him since then but I haven't stop thinking about him. Lot of things had changed since then. I had become a prefect. Something I thought could never happen to me. I wondered what Jasper would think when I told him I was a prefect. He would definitely make fun of me because we hated prefects but at the same time he would be happy because he could get away with things.

Eager to see Jasper, I came to school earlier than usual. I was on the gate duty that year. It was perfect. I could wait for him while doing my duty.

After a few minutes, I saw Jasper's car arriving. He came out of the car and started walking in the school. I saw him and my heart beated fast. Why was my heart beating fast? Maybe because I haven't seen him in a while. As he walked past me, I wanted to wave or smile at him but I couldn't move. He didn't wave or smile at me either, he just acted like he didn't see me. Maybe it was best that I didn't wave or smile at him. That would have been awkward but it haven't been awkward between me and Jasper ever since I know him. Perhaps things have changed a lot.

As the year went by, I realised Jasper hated me. A lot. The hate grew when he found out I liked him. Yes, I liked him. I realised that my heart beats fast and I get butterflies whenever I see him. But he hated me. He wouldn't ever talk to me and he had new friends. He pretended I didn't exist and he didn't know me. He kept getting into trouble, worse than he used to. I worried about him a lot. The last year of middle school, Jasper got expelled from school. I knew I would see him in high school again. How did I know? We talked about this stuff. Where would we go for school, what job we would have in the future, where we would live. We even planned to live together in the future. Sad to think that after a fight we wouldn't even talk.

I saw him in high school, we still didn't talk. By this time, the whole school knew I liked him. He still hated me. I realised I really disturbed him so I wrote him a letter.

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Dear Jasper,

I'm sorry I've been disturbing you. I promise I won't like you or disturb you anymore. I know you hate me and I'm sorry for what you've done.

From Scarlett.

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I really didn't expect to get a letter back but I did get it.

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Scarlett, it's not that I hate you. We've been friends for 7 years. You don't disturb me or anything. I just like another girl right now. It's not that you're not pretty or anything, I have liked you when we were younger.

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Wow. So, we're still friends? Then why did you stop talking to me, acted like I didn't exist? He liked me? I had so much of questions to ask. But I didn't, I just left it at that. He liked another girl. My heart got broken into million pieces. He likes another girl.

I found out who the girl was. It was Sadie. Sadie is my friend. She's kind and sweet. She's really adorable but I don't see her actually liking him. She's known for dating many guys but I won't judge her. I know how much those guys have hurt her. At this time, I've seen Jasper getting hurt and sad because she was dating another guy. I felt bad for him. I knew how he felt.

I could feel that Sadie was starting to like Jasper. It didn't feel right to still like him. I don't want to ruin someone's relationship just because I liked someone. I tried to move on. I really wanted to because it hurted so bad. I forced myself to stop loving him. I and Jasper felt like an incomplete love story. I know we'll find our way to each other in the future. Maybe not as lovers but maybe as best friends.