Strikes and Ladders

Chapter Twelve: Drowning

Jack looks up and sees the group of boys all staring at him, and he has the nerve to wave. Davey is so furious that his hands are shaking but so sad that he feels like someone just tore a hole into his chest with a miniature shovel.

"Hey Davey. That Conlon behind you, and Racer too? Long time no see, Spot." The showgirl gets up and adjusts the straps on her costume before hurrying out with a mumbled apology.

Spot can't speak, he's so shocked, but Davey recovers rather quickly, given the situation. "No. Absolutely not. You don't get to just sit there and act like everything is fine! Everything is not fine, Jack! We just caught you kissing someone else." His voice raises in anger like the others haven't seen since Jack betrayed him the first time. Maybe it's reserved specifically for moments like these, ones where Jack lets down everyone who is counting on him.

The man himself doesn't seem to know what's going on. "Yeah, and? I kiss other people all the time. I've actually kissed everyone in this room." He's more used to the theatre, so he manages to keep his voice down, but it's clear to everyone in the room that it is a struggle.

"You do? How did I not know about this?"

"Well it's not like I go around tellin' you's 'bout each other. It's rude." Jack goes through this like everything he says is completely obvious.

"Rude? Jackie, you're cheatin' on me, I think that's more than rude." His accent is starting to slip through, showing his emotion even though his voice has turned ice cold. Spot sees this and tries to mediate, a useful skill in most situations, but a fruitless endeavour in this one.

"Look, let's say you's take a few minutes and calm down, before either of you's says somethin' you'll regret tomorrow."

"This don't concern you, Spot." Jack points aggressively, his finger poking into Spot's chest and pushing him back, if only a little. This causes Race to step up behind him and glare. "Oh yeah Racer, you're real scary. How's about you call off your guard dogs Daves, and then we can talk about this."

A long moment of silence from the boy, followed by a deep sigh. He sounds tired. "Spot, Race, go... enjoy the show. Let me talk to Jack alone." When he sees the two of them about to protest, he shoots Spot a look, silent conversation being something they've been working on as union leaders. Spot holds eye contact for a moment before taking a deep breath and grabbing on to Race's elbow.

"Let's go, Racer. This isn't our fight."

Race sighs and then looks over at Davey. "I- good luck, Mouth. We'll be waitin'."

They leave, and after Davey can no longer see them, he sits down in one of the chairs, posture rigid. He is strangely composed, but his hands are balled into fists, gripping his paints hard enough to leave sharp creases in them. Jack and Davey look at each other. Jack is bouncing his leg up and down incessantly and Davey looks like if one more thing goes wrong he's going to punch something.

"Daves-"

"No. My turn. You were kissing a girl up here, and probably other people outside of her, right?"

"...Right."

" I thought that we were dating."

"We are! Of course we are Daves, I really like you, and I really like spending time with you."

"So can you explain to me why you were kissing other people? While we were together?" His words are calm, but his voice is shaking and he is holding back tears. Jack tries to reach out and hold his hand but he yanks it away. "I- just explain. Please."

Jack shrugs. "Daves, I don't know what you want from me. We're dating, I kissed someone else. What's the big deal?"

"God, you are infuriating. How can you not see the issue here?"

"I mean, you can kiss other people too, if you want! I don't mind."

"That's the problem! I don't want to kiss other people and I don't want you to kiss other people either!"

Jack tilts his head. "...why though? It's not like it means anything. It's just kissing."

"Jack, I have risked everything to try and be with you. Forgive me if I'd rather you be with me and not anyone else."

"Daves, baby, c'mon. That's just... not how I work. If I stay on one place, or one person too long, I get bored. I don't wanna get bored with you!"

Jack has never seen someone be so angry and so calm at the same time. "Don't worry Jackie, you won't get the chance. We..." the mask slips as his voice wavers, "We're done. Kiss whoever you want." He stands, closed off but visibly shaking as he starts to head down the stairs.

"Wait, hey wait, Daves, come back!" Jack ignores the angry shushing from below him as he grabs onto Davey's arm. "Please, we can... we can do something. Don't go." He cups Davey's cheek and presses a kiss to his lips, one that is returned for a few moments before his companion moves away.

"I'm sorry Jack. I can't do this with you, and I don't think I ever could. I'm sorry I even tried and it got us both hurt. It was stupid, and my fault, but I need you to let me go." Their eyes lock, both of them in tears, and Jack slowly lets go of Davey's wrist.

"I love you Daves." Jack's voice wobbles.

"I know. I love you too. So much that it hurts. But all of this hurt isn't healthy. I'm gonna go. I'll uh, I'll see you around." With that, he takes the final steps out of the room, closes the door behind him, and walks down the stairs, leaving Jack alone in the box with the sound of the show below still washing over him. For Davey, as he comes crashing down the stairs and out onto the street that is still busy despite the late hour, and it's all too much. The noise is stifling, but he can't force himself back inside, not when he's in there. His breathing is quick and heavy, his palms are sweaty, and his head is just a knot of overlapping emotions that give him the worst headache he's ever had.

He stumbles through the street, accidentally bumping into several people until he finds a small alley, one with nothing in it. He sits down, pulls his knees up into his chest and tries to steady himself, think this through, but he can't. He can't breathe and it feels like the world is closing in on him. Distantly, he thinks he can hear someone saying his name but it's like he's underwater. He is alone and drowning and there isn't anyone there to pull him from the tides. Until there is.