seasons; blue lock x m.reader

IX. LOVESICK

DISCLAIMER: both sae and y/n imagining if they were in a straight relationship.

★✮★

𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐒 13. the age where you start to realize certain things. things like relationships, reality, and in his case things about sae itoshi. the boy he pestered to no end and the same boy he grew feelings for.

sae showed his care in unusual ways, ways that made his heart beat just a little faster. y/n always looked forward into these interactions with sae.

whenever he thought about the topic, he recalls all of the times sae would make him question his sexuality.

"don't you like these?"
.
.
.

"I thought you liked kombucha tea."
.
.
.

"hey y/n, they have it in f/c. wanna get it?"

call him dramatic but remembering little things about him gets his heart fluttering. It's one of the few ways you can get him to fall yet, sae seemed to hit all the right places without ever realizing.

currently he was in his bed and having a crisis on his feelings on a certain maroon-haired male.

I mean, what kind of 'friend' remember small detail about you? you can't blame him for overthinking about this.

the more he spends time with him, the more he unravels things he didn't even know! like his birthday. who knew that guy has born on october 10. (he certainly sees him as a 10/10 though!)

but anyways.

he was listening to songs on shuffle and coincidentally 'lovesick' by laufey started to play. he feels like that the universe was toying with him.

his mind was a mess and all he could think about was him. he never knew that someone like him could make his mind jumble up.

he felt like a highschool student after their crush complimented them. if anyone were to walk in, they were met with a boy who was all messed up for another.

his heart surrenders when he imagines about the scenarios with sae. sitting on the train, training with him, maybe even eating his food. the sudden pound in his chest gets him weak every time.

what he was worried about was rejection if he were to ever confess. he'd rather jump into upcoming traffic rather than be forced to do so. and not only was he worried about sae; he was also worried about being shun by the world if they caught onto his feelings for him. these always managed to shatter every last bit of hope he had with sae as well.

but in the end, it all depended on sae if he actually liked him or not. worse case scenario, he'd get dropped and he'd be left with a broken heart, but that wouldn't be fair would it? yet the world doesn't wait for anyone to pick up their minds and let go of something so easily. it's hard for anyone- if not everyone to move on from love easily.

he'd get destroyed and it would be all in the name of love. it was never a good idea to fall for someone. it's always a 50/50 if they like you or not, it's like a lottery ticket. weird comparison i know, but its one in a million chance for feelings to return, lose and you're left with nothing but with despair. you're left thinking 'what could i have done for them to like me back?'. that was what so scary about love.

yet with all that in mind, a single thought was left drifting around in the space of his head,

'would i have a chance if was a girl?'

★✮★

sae was unsure of his feelings for a certain h/c male.

whenever he thought of him, he wouldn't know what to think.

there was always an unknown feeling whenever he conversed with him. a feeling that felt nice, comforting, warm. sae was never known to be good with his emotions; he already didn't know what he was feeling most of the time and with y/n around, it only made him question his feelings even more. plus, sae wasn't stupid. he caught onto the other's antics. with the blushing face, the sappy words y/n said.

would society care if he were to like another boy? considering that he was a rising star in the soccer industry, sae would most probably get canceled.

he couldn't help but wonder how life would be if you were a girl. a thought lingering shouting the cold hard truth of the world. with everything deemed as weird or unusual will always get berated on. god, this was too much for him.

'with everybody watching us, our every move. we do have reputations. i wish you were a girl, l/n'

all he wanted to do was to waste his time with him. he would never let him know that though, he'd only get pestered by him; but for once he doesn't think that he'd mind.

EXTRA / ADDITIONAL TIME:

one from the two could have been seen playing with the other's hair at the park. they seemed to have the time of their life.

sae was listening to y/n rambling once again, this time it was about the dumplings they recently ate just before coming here with him.

sae had an undeniably soft look while listening and when the h/c male realized, it only had him fall even harder.