Let it be my Mistake

Part 1

"Bro you really shouldn't be drinking like that"

He may be right but who gives a fuck, it's a wedding reception, I ain't paying for none of these drinks

"Nahh but fr tho Lesedi, you need to chill...." Tlotlo's concerned voice echoing down my spine, twisting between that conversation I'm trying to forget.......

My reason, my ease, there he was....standing at the alter with someone that ain't me. And I can't even blame anyone for this shit show. But he looked so dead. I feel even more guilty, I hope he isn't marrying her to get over me

"Nahhh lets go, you ain't drinking for fun anymore"

"I promise I'm okay, I don't want to leave just yet. Look at uncle over there dancing.." that was my attempt to distract Tlotlo's concern over my alcohol consumption

"Wait......who he out there with!? Is that.......NOOOO!"

I'm squinting my eyes as if the issues isn't the sheer fact that the dancefloor is spinning in axis
"Wait.......NO!" over exaggerating myself hoping he doesn't notice that my vision's gone blurry.

"Isn't that Aunt Mavis AND ISNT SHE MARRIED!? wtf is she doing dancing with a man that ain't her husband, let alone Uncle Greg....."

"Boy stfu, thems not dancing like that, they the closest pair of cousins in that family, prolly could pass as siblings, they been peas in a pod since sharing a bath"
See I'm not part of this family, and the reality of how I even got to know such information about another man's family makes me sick to the stomach, as long as I got liquor in my hand, "rn nothing feels like shit!!"
FUCK! I thought that out loud didn't I, I'm just glad that Tlotlo, Katlo and Rorisang didn't hear me, thank God for the music..

Truth is I don't want to go home, my heads too full.
And if we leave, it's going to be easier to notice my dried tears. For as long as we're right here, I can blame my mood on my anxiety instead of telling the truth, also being in the same room as him rn feels comforting, wrong but safe.
UGHHHHHH!! I feel like such a fool.