I Hate Him

He Fooled me

On the first day of college, I entered the classroom, took a deep breath, and sat in the first bench. This was because I was introverted, and all the last benches had people who were easy to socialize with, but I knew I would barely be comfortable with them. Far apart, I saw a guy looking at me, and I thought it was random and did not mean anything. For information, this guy was actually really handsome, the type that would instantly shine in the crowd. The next day, I looked back just to check if he was still looking at me, and guess what? He was still looking at me. This somehow made me feel noticed, and that too on the first days of college. This somehow gave me butterflies, and days went on. I kept checking for him, and yeah, he was constantly looking. Then, I wanted to make sure I was not hallucinating, so I changed my place to reaffirm, and yet the same result. Now, I put a lot of my focus on this matter. I started to stalk him, dress up for him, and feel very conscious whenever his name came up in conversations. But he never actually spoke with me, never even tried to. Not that he was a very shy type because he was very friendly with this one girl. So, I tried to initiate a convo on Insta, and I felt his reply was very dry. To my next message, he left me on seen. To be honest, this never happened to me, being ignored, never. And I too had self-respect issues, so I did not mind enough to text him again. Then, from one of my friends, I got to know that he had commented on all the girls of our class, stating "All girls except Nitya in our class look average." Nitya was the girl he was friendly with. Now, this somehow hurt me, and he also made a body-shaming comment on my friend. After this, I unfollowed him and stopped thinking about him. I had made another guy friend, and this was not in a romantic way, but still, he would get jealous. He would give me long stares, and I even got to know that he asked one of my friends what was between me and this guy. This complete bullshit messed me up mentally. I would have self-doubts, and I started to ask myself if I was good enough. And now, after all this happened, all I wanted was a clarification, and guess WHAT? He already had a girlfriend. I got to know this in a general convo. I mean, everything about this situation was messed up. Now, I started questioning if he was actually looking at me or I was overthinking. He was my classmate for one more semester, and this time I did not even bother to look back at him. I kept my motives strong; I was not running behind a committed man. And once he just made an embarrassing movement. I was alone in the second bench as my friend was absent, and he was in the first bench. So, all his friends just teased him, asking him to sit back with me, and guess what? He actually did; he sat with me. And the whole class went ooooo. And as soon as he sat with me, I sat back with 2 other girls, and the whole class started laughing. It was embarrassing for him but satisfying for me. Anyhow, after my second semester, I have never had a single thought about him, and I just wanted to share my story to ask if this is normal. Do guys make eye contacts randomly? Anyways, thanks for reading.