The WAR: A Story of Family

4. Mistakes

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"When you find your path, you must not be afraid. You need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes."

The OPTIMIST AND The REALIST

Avyanna had her dinner alone.

Alistair hadn't come home yet that night; and Emma was feeling under the weather, her damaged bones being a constant source of pain, especially on cold nights.  She asked that Avyanna please forgive her absence at the dinner table, but in such pain she could not will herself to move unless there was an emergency.

Avyanna had spent her day at the circus with some of the children who took her lesson each day, and it had been a full day of sugar and excitement, smoke and magic crackling in the air.

Entering the circus grounds it had felt like falling into a maelstrom devoid of reality.  From the sounds and colors and smells it was all exquisite, and something so wondrous to behold.

Avyanna had kept the children close, and all the while she was shadowed by the old coachman, Jon, who also seemed enthralled by their fantastical surroundings.

For the most part he had kept to himself, and it was easy to forget he was there while she went about her day.

Avyanna sat at the dining table now and she did not mind so much eating alone; she didn't expect her new family to change their routine for her just so they could all eat together.  The silence allowed her to replay her day over in her mind and to map out what she would be doing the following day.

She often lost herself in deep thought and she would become curious if anyone noticed that she had folded into herself for hours on end.

She thought of Alistair, and she was thrilled that she had remembered to buy lemon oil for his injuries at a stand in the circus.

Avyanna had barely finished eating when a servant was there to pick up her plate, startling her, and hurrying away before Avyanna could even say thank you.

When the young woman reappeared, Avyanna asked, "Does Alistair usually have dinner at home?"

The young woman was stiff and formal, "No, miss, Master Alistair does not. Cook will fix him something only if he asks."

"Then where does he normally eat?"

"He hardly ever eats here. They feed them at the barracks."

Avyanna nodded, "Thank you."

The young woman made a sound and disappeared again.

Avyanna sat for a while and finally she stood up to exit the stunning dining room, she walked through the house slowly finding her way back to hers and Alistair's room, the candles dancing and flickering in her wake.

The silence in the mansion prevailed, not a sound to be heard except for the occasional howl of the cold wind outside, and she appreciated the peace.

She had thought that it all seemed austere before, yet the quiet around her did not seem like an empty coldness, but rather like an elegant resting stillness.

Avyanna took a scalding hot bath, washing the day and the circus off her skin and out of her hair, pulling her long dark hair back into a braid that fell down her back when she was finished.

She didn't idle at the bookshelf this time; she pulled the Philosophy book that she had been skimming through from the night before and sat at the table to read.

In their highest boughs the world rustles, their roots rest in infinity; but they do not lose themselves there, they struggle with all the force of their lives for one thing only: to fulfill themselves according to their own laws, to build up their own form, to represent themselves.