Two Hearts, One Lie

Chapter 1

It's almost a 2-hour drive. Penn State is the closest university to my house and I do not mind the commute. Mom insisted I stay in the dorms—worrying about me driving too long to and from school. I live in the dorm, not for personal pleasure, but to please Mom and to not have to drive home every night after class. I frequently visit her on the weekends, or when class gets canceled.

We're a month into my second year here at Penn. I spent the weekend back at home, which was my first mistake. Mom keeps nagging me about how she thinks I need to go to therapy again and how I need to get out more. Talking about Dad every day wasn't the way I pictured spending my last weekend before class starts. I should've known. Mom is always the one to bring up the subject, shockingly. I can't think or focus much when the subject of Dad comes up.

"Hey, love. Do you want to go out for an early breakfast before you go?" Mom walks in, standing in my doorway as I'm closing up my tote bag.

I look at my alarm clock—7:00 AM. My first class starts at 10. "Yeah, I have some time. Let's go to Lucy's."

I get there before Mom, sitting at our usual table. Going on my phone, I open my chat with Gracie and Holly, scrolling through Gracie's daily motivational quotes. Gracie has been one of my best friends since sophomore year and I met Holly during my second semester of senior year. I don't know where I would be without them, especially this last year.

Mom sits down—my usual coffee and pancakes, her usual tea and scrambled eggs in hand. "I'm not sure how much free time you have this week but I was wondering if—hey, I only want one pancake; no need to cut the other one in half." We began the tradition of sharing breakfasts when Dad died. Almost like a bonding thing, a distraction to do something other than wallow and hibernate. "Anyway, I was wondering if you wanted to go shopping on Friday. I have a day off, but if you need to check your schedule, that's fine."

Simon left the house last night, wanting to catch up with some buddies of his at Penn. I check my phone to text 'Good Morning' to Simon, considering he never initiates a conversation. Knowing he won't respond until an hour later, I check my watch, calculating when I need to leave. We've been sitting here, eating and talking for 15 minutes. "I'll let you know, Gracie might create plans for us, but I'll text you. Mom, I gotta go. I need to get to my dorm early and meet up with Gracie and Holly before class. Bye. I love you."

I truly don't mind the 2-hour trip from my hometown—Carlisle, Pennsylvania—to Penn State. Driving is actually calming sometimes. Listening to music, seeing the sights, the anticipation of the destination. Some people say the destination is the best part of the adventure, but I don't think they know how to make the journey right.

I'm 10 minutes away from my dorm—taking a break to grab Starbucks. I park my car and sigh, grabbing my things as I open my door. I make a fuss trying to grab my phone with all my bags in hand, pulling up Gracie on speed dial.

"Hey Lots, where are you!?" Gracie screams in my ear.

"Geez, destroy my eardrums, why don't you? Grace, I'm 2 seconds away from the dorm. Is Holly there?"

Another shrill-pitched voice screams from the background from Gracie's end. "Yes, I am! Hello! Good morning, Lottie!"

"Hey Hol, can you guys open the door? I have too much in my hands."

Opening the door are the bright and happy faces of Gracie and Holly, bringing a smile to my face as I walk in. I move towards my room, setting my things on the floor by the door, taking a second to breathe. The first thing I see when I walk in is a "Welcome Home" sign above the head of my bed. I take one weekend off while Gracie and Holly stay in the dorm and they act like I've been off at war. "You guys are so strange!" I yell. I giggle in tow of their giggles, knowing they heard me.