Two Hearts, One Lie

Chapter 3

I set my bags in the trunk of James' car, right next to Gracie and Holly's bags. "Thank you so much again for letting us stay with you. This whole murder thing has freaked everyone out." I nervously chuckle.

He closes the trunk, facing me. "Hm. Yeah, it's all scary. And it's no problem. My house has 2 extra rooms, so it's no issue," He gets in the driver's seat; me in the passenger seat. "You guys can stay for as long as you like." He says, smiling at me and looking back at Gracie and Holly in the backseat, turning on the engine and reversing.

We're 2 minutes into the drive, listening to the radio. "Guys, can I be on aux?" Gracie asks, holding her phone out to me. I connect her phone, pressing play on her 'Road Trip' playlist. James' is about an hour away, giving us time to relax. Gracie and Holly are playing Head's Up! in the backseat, creating 80% of the noise in the car. James is silent, his face is convoluted. I can't tell what he's thinking.

Simon hasn't texted or called or responded to my texts at all today. I want to assume he's focusing on his classes, or more accurately, football. But my gut tells me otherwise. I don't want to believe it, but I can't even begin to try to feel sorry for myself. I've known this for a while, he was always a player, and to think he would change for me was absurd. I look in my heart to check how much I want to fight for this and all I can think about is James. It's unfair, I know. I can't start thinking about James this way when Simon and I are still technically together.

"Anyone need to go to the restroom? Go right now because I'm not stopping until we get there." He asks, clearing his throat and turning to me. Gracie and Holly answer frantically, practically peeing themselves. James pulls into a gas station, not even 10 minutes away from school. Gracie and Holly run out as soon as the car is in park; James getting out to put gas. I get out slowly, grabbing my purse and throwing it on my shoulder.

"Do you want anything? A drink, snack, something?" I ask James, closing my door. He answers me, telling me to pick out whatever for him, not looking at me. I walk into the building, searching for snacks. I grab chips for him and my Hot Cheetos, wandering over to the drinks.

Gracie and Holly walk out of the restroom and up to me. "Isn't it crazy that the entire city is walking around freely, knowing a murderer is on the loose?" Gracie whispers. "Like, the murderer could be any one of us; either one of you, me, James, even the cashier back there. He's been giving me a look ever since we walked in."

We walk out of the gas station, bags in hand, making our way over to the car. I find James with his head hung low, wiping his eyes as we open the doors. "Hey, are you okay?" I ask, sitting down and closing my door.

He collects himself and turns to me, smiling. "Yeah, I'm fine. What'd you get me?" He answers, hoarsely, as if he's been screaming. I don't bring up the matter, seeing him instantly avoid it.

"Um, I got you an iced tea, trail mix, and sour cream and onion chips." I say, taking his and my things out of the bag. James turns on the car and starts driving again as I grab Gracie's still plugged in phone, pressing play on the lock screen.

We continue the drive in a comfortable routine; Gracie and Holly playing random road trip games, James in his head, only coming out of it when I ask him something. At one point, I turned to my side, my body facing James and talking to Gracie in the back while Holly sleeps. We all avoid the topic of murder, wanting to leave that situation back at Penn, and Gracie talks about her childhood home, I talk about my favorite memories with Mom and Dad, and James jumps into the conversation, talking about how school was in Maine. This moment, this journey, is how I need my life to be. The grief, the weight of some kind of invisible unimaginable guilt oozing from Mom constantly reminding me Dad's dead, and the nightmares constructing in my mind from before Dad was even destined to leave needs to stay there; at Penn, with the murder. For now, for a while, I can allow myself to pretend this is my life; road tripping with my best friends; past and present. Gracie and James connecting with each other, laughing at something I said, Holly snoring in the back, Taylor Swift playing through the speakers. This is what needs to appear in my head when I fall asleep. Not that phony horror movie script.