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I yawned as I stepped inside my home, missing its warmth. The apple cinnamon scent from my candle wafted into my nose as I lit it.
I sighed as I relaxed on my couch, having been on my feet for two goddamn weeks. Aldamar returned to hiding after discovering we were onto him, and Armelio was trying to start a war with us.
I don't know why, but yeah. Memories from last Tuesday played in my mind as I sat silently, my candle on the table making small popping sounds.
Am I ready?
Am I ready to let love in, again?
What if it is like the last one?
Am I even worthy of it?
I huffed as a headache started to form from my procrastination. Of course, I am worthy of it; they show me every day whenever they get a chance to. But the real question here is... How do I love?
I stood there frozen as Daniel and Richard gazed at the scene before them. Feeling hot under their gazes, I turned away.
Asher had loosened his grip around me but was still holding on. Guilt started to creep up my spine as the atmosphere changed throughout the suite.
"I am so sorry," I apologized, unwrapping Asher's arms from around me.
I stood there silently, fear consuming me as I tried to hold back my tears. Daniel and Richard both held unknown looks on their faces. I felt my chest tighten as the realization dawned on me that I had been playing all of them. And the worst part about it is that they are my best friends. But I have just committed some unfriendly acts with them, especially Daniel.
"Pl-please don't be mad. I am sorry for, Everything." I broke down, my heart rate going up as I started to panic a bit. "I am so fucking sorry,"
They just stood there looking as amused as ever. Asher was now behind me, looking confused but also quite amused.
"Love, we aren't mad," Richard spoke. I stopped my apologies and looked up at him.
"Why? I'm sure you all have to feel disgusted at least?" I asked, concerned.
"We're not Angel; you are a grown woman; you can make your own decisions," Daniel chuckled.
I looked at them weirdly as they all just held small grins on their handsome faces. Why aren't they mad? I am basically leading them on; this is all so confusing.
What is going on?
"Baby, we promise, we all wanted to talk to you about something actually," Asher quipped. I looked into their eyes as they did the same; all held the same expression.
Sympathy and lust.
"O-ok," I said as I stood up with their help. We all walked into the living room; the boys sat by each other in front of me.
"So, what's up?" I ask. They all looked at each other doing that twin telepathy thing again.
Daniel was the first to speak up. "Me and the boys talked awhile ago about, well... us."
I nod not seeing where this is going. "And we all came to the conclusion that we all have feelings for you and only you ever since we were kids."
My eyes widened a bit. I never knew they felt that way about me. I thought it was all just to mess with me.
"Baby, say something," Asher quaked. I opened my mouth to say something but only silence came out.
I wanted to tell them how I had been feeling lately about them, but it was like my body was restricting me from doing so.
My mouth went dry; my tongue felt numb, and my brain was slow as hell.
Mustering up the courage. "I-wow," I breathed out; they all looked at me, eyes filled with hope.
"That's really beautiful, but-,"
"But what, love?" Richard cut me off. I looked at him as if he done messed up, 'cause he did, raising his voice at me like I'm his kid.
"Richard please," holding my hand up. "Please don't get messed up, 'cause you know I will hit you the quickness."
His face dropped as he sat back. "Sorry, Love."
I nod, forgiving him. "It's alright; anyways... what I wanted to say was that I would love to be with you guys. I have been feeling some type of way towards you all, and I wanna take it to the next level."
They all sat up. "Really?" They spoke simultaneously.
I nod, my smile dropping a bit. "I would love to, but after what I thought was love with him, I don't know how to love, nor if I even deserve it."
It goes quiet after the mention of my first boyfriend; Eric.
They hated him so much; every encounter they had with him, a fight always broke out.
Not just a couple hits and then you're done; they would get into really bloody fights, one of my boys always coming out as the victor.
After me and Eric broke up, I told the boys everything that went down in our relationship and how he treated me, and they were furious.
To make it short, let's just say, the police got called, an ambulance got called, and NBC News came.
"Look, we understand how you feel Angel, and we know how that son of a treated you, but baby this is us we're talking about." Daniel persuaded.
I sighed. "I-I don't know; I want you guys, but I am scared."
"Scared of what love, talk to us," Richard looked into my eyes, emotions swarming around his orbs.
"Scared that you guys will change and treat me differently like he did," I sighed, looking away.
I felt my heart clench as it went quiet; I wanna look into their eyes, but I was scared. Scared of what I might read from them.
Asher sighed, leaning forward to grab my hand in his. "It's okay, baby, we understand how you feel; that's why we will give you time to think about our offer. When you know you are ready, come to us, okay?"
I nod, before pulling them in for a hug.
The confusion started to settle in upon me as they kept on mentioning 'us' as if they wanted to all be with me at the same time.
I will just ask them later...
I looked up; my heart started beating faster as all their eyes stared back at mine, holding the same emotion.
Love.
That was two weeks ago. We haven't spoken since because the boys have been busy and so have I.
