This contest entry has to pertain to the song Apologize by One Republic and is a story about a struggle.
SYTYCW: Week 2-
"I...I have to tell you something," I told him hoarsely, afraid of what he was going to say.
"Well, spit it out," he snapped, obviously having no interest where this was going.
I glanced over to him. His complexions were stunning with his perfect chin and deep brown eyes. He had a beauty mark on his right cheek and it made him imperfectly perfect. From all the years I've known him he was big on working out and that showed in his appearance. You could see the muscles in his arms and the way he always wore tight shirts showed his six-pack.
Half of the time he used his muscles to show off, but the other half was not the case. He was my childhood sweetheart and I've known him since I was 7. When he asked me out two years ago, I felt like I was in heaven. Of course, after a few months his mother died of cancer. He couldn't take it anymore and that's when he became violent. I know it was silly of me to keep holding on even when I was beaten and bruised, but I loved him so much I just couldn't stand to see him go. Now, though, now was the time I finally stood up for myself.
"You know I love you.." I started.
"Yes, yes, I love you, too, you're the love of..." he interrupted.
"IreallyreallydoloveyoubutI'mbreakingupwithyou." I rushed.
We stopped walking and he raised his eyebrow at me, "baby, I understood nothing you said."
This was finally my moment to prove that I wasn't some weakling, and that I deserved more than this.
I took a deep breath, "I'm breaking up with you."
He looked shocked, and his eyes were filled with pain. That broken boy was short-lived, though, as in a second his eyes turned hard and aloof. I wasn't surprised to say the least. The loving boy who would send me roses for no apparent reason was far gone. Now, all this boy had was his violence and his walls he refused anyone to get through.
He shrugged, "whatever."
We went our seperate ways and not once did he turn back to look at me. I was free, at last! I still felt empty inside, because no matter how much he hurt me, there was always a place for him in my heart. There was also a place for him on my arm: the scars he left me.
ღღღღღღღღღ Three Months Laterღღღღღღღღღ
It was a cold December evening when I was confronted. The colors in the sky were remnants of the early sunset. A cold breeze flew around me and nipped at the tip of my ears and nose. There was no particular reason why I took a stroll so late, I just needed some quiet time and fresh air.
I don't know how, but I found my way towards the park, specifically the willow tree. The memories I had by this spot were far too dangerous for me to dwell on for long. It was the place where he first confessed to me, but also the first place he beat me. Even after all the days that have passed by I couldn't forget the trauma he had caused me. I loved him, but I couldn't stand to look at him straight in the eye anymore.
I've always been told that I should have done something to prevent him from beating me before I broke it off. I should have called police, called the authorities, hit him back? There was no point, the scars would be there forever, both the physical and emotional. He never apologized so I never forgave him, nor did I forget.
To be honest, I didn't know what to think. He was a drug to me in reality. I was addicted to him, I was obsessed, but he was slowly killing me. A drug who ate at my insides and watched me burn for entertainment. Even now, even when I hate his guys, I'm still obsessed with him. He wasn't hurting me anymore, but the choices that had to do with him were tearing me apart.
I sat by myself deep in thought by the willow tree. The sky was quickly fading towards the dark color of night but it wasn't like I had somewhere to be. I leaned my back against the tree and hugged my knees to my chest. Oh, if only life were simpler. The world's problems would disappear if I could have him without being hurt.
A hand shot out and broke my thought as I was lifted and choked against the willow tree. My eyes were shut tight as I didn't want it to be who I thought it was. There was enough room for me to breathe, but barely enough for me to speak. I knew that grip far too well, but what was he doing here?
"Baby, I misshed you soooooo much," an all too familiar voice slurred.
Reluctantly, I opened my eyes and there he was.
"Let....let go... of me," I wheezed.
He ignored my plea and brought his face closer to mine. I could smell the alcohol in his breath and I cringed. From what I could see in my position, he was a mess. His clothes were dirty and torn, he was clearly drunk, and his muscles were already losing their shape after three months.
"I'm sorry, baby. I missed you sooooo much. Take me back," he whispered in my ear.
I struggled to get out of his grasp but he pressed against me and I was now completely trapped. Compared to him, I was a mere bunny and only God could now help me escape.
"I'm nothing without you, I neeeeeed you," he moaned pleadingly.
It was ironic, really, these were the words I had wanted to hear for so long. My heart was torn, was I supposed to take him back? Everything I just escaped from would come crashing down on my yet again, unless he really has had a change of heart. Oh, how much I wanted to wrap my arms around him and fall asleep on his shoulder. I wanted to wake up every morning with him by my side and his arms wrapped around me.
But I couldn't, it was too late now. Never in a million years did I want to admit it, but the one I fell in love with was gone. He was who I was in love with, not this monster who shared the same face and name. To do what I have to do is practically like having to kill your dog whom you've had for so long because he had rabies and it was too late to save him. I didn't want to let this boy go, but if I didn't he would destroy me.
Now, he was stroking my hair and giving me those puppy dog eyes I've grown up with.
"Please...." he whined.
With my decision I recently made, I found the strength and the courage to push him away.
"No," I told him, "I won't have you back."
He backed away from me and his eyes teared up. The face he gave me was so desperate, so helpless.
"It's too late, okay? I get it, your mom died and you felt like crap! But that doesn't mean you can treat others like shit! I put up with you for a year, hoping you would realize your mistakes. You never did, and now it's just too late!!! This, what we are, it's over!!" I yelled.
Instantly, I thought about taking it all back and just running up to him and hugging him. No I told myself. I forced myself to remember everything he did to me. He punched me in the face, he slammed me against a wall, he scratched me and even used a pair of scissors on me. I couldn't go back to that, no matter how much I loved him. I looked to him, to the willow tree, and back to him.
I wouldn't have been surprised if he strangled me again and attacked me until I took him back, but he just gave me a defeated nod and stumbled away. I had actually won this time, and it was finally over.
It was at the willow tree where he had the strength to confess, and it was the willow tree where I had the strength to end it.
