Debut: The Story

ii. invisible

THERE WAS a bounce in my step as I slid my way into first period history. 

"Hi, Drew," I greeted my history seat-mate, attempting to be friendly.

Drew looked up at me. I suddenly began to take note of his crystal clear blue eyes, that lit up when a smile appeared on his face. His boyish features showed through his cute haircut, and strong build. 

Woah, what am I doing?

"Hey," he nodded with a grin, "Do you know what we're supposed to be doing today?"

I set my books down on my desk as I let my bag fall off my shoulder in a swoop.

"Oh, I don't know. I think we have to read pages 384 to 394." I tell him.

 "394," Drew repeats.

My eyelashes flutter at him in a loop for a second, confused. Then the lightbulb clicks in my head. 

"Oh, oh! Harry Potter! You've read the books?" I say enthusiastically and smack the desk with excitement.

"Shh, don't tell anyone. I've got a reputation to uphold." Drew whispers in my ear.

I laugh, and Drew and I read the passages together, and continue to exchange jokes and quips whilst trying to focus to the best of our ability. By the time the bell rings, I realize it's the first time I have homework in this class.

I shove my school necessities in my lumpy bag and fix my olive green sweater, zipping it up a bit.

"Wow, time flies," I say to Drew, a little surprised.

"When you're having fun," Drew finishes for me, and I smile.

I wonder if he can tell how I'm radiating.

"Hey, aren't you in my language arts, second period?" He asks, snapping his fingers.

"Yes," I reply full heartedly.

"Great! Let's walk together," Drew suggests.

I respond by stepping towards the exit and turning back cheerily.

Who knew there'd be another addition to my comfort collection.

My guitar, my music taste, my jeans, and—

Drew.

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Weeks of hanging out with Drew feel like a dream that occurs during not only the daytime, but the nighttime as well.

He's funny, great, and charming—you're supposed to make everlasting friendships, not short term breakups.

But one of the attributes I admire about Drew is his respect for the female species. He isn't a douchebag like the other 'bad boys'. 

I think I have a crush on him. Because I'm always noticing the little things. I've always been observant of the small but important details of life, but this feels different. Good different, not bad different. 

The way his eyes light up when he smiles. This beaming light that shines inside of him, like a radiator I get easily drawn to. Just like how the sun in the sky reflects my sunshine mood, Drew has a burning passion inside of him. Sometimes it's a warm, welcoming friendly light, which is why he has so many friends and mutuals. But other times it's a raging fire in his soul that defends the materials in his comfort box that he cares for in flares and spits of smoke and hot ashes.

I catch up with Drew, waving him over.

"Hiya, pipsqueak," Drew greets.

I cringe, which makes Drew chuckle. We stop by his army green locker as he gets some folders and a study guide out for mathematics next period.

Suddenly he freezes and hisses to me in a flash, "Quick! Say something interesting."

My brow furrows in suspicion but I say anyway, "So, what's your favorite type of music?"

And that's when she walks by. Drew stops and stares, like her very presence causes him to malfunction like a robot infected with water. 

She has dark locks and captivating eyes, and everything about her is sharp edges and refined curves. She has the prettiest, widest smile I've ever seen. It's a sight to behold compared to my sweet, shy smiles.

"Hi, Drew, fancy seeing you around here. Maybe we can more sometime," She smiles that smile that she has.

"Sounds nice," Drew says, in a trance.

"Oh, hi! You're that one smart girl, right? I didn't know you two were friends. That's sweet," she says, like I'm Drew's charity case.

"Yuppie," I reply, uninterested and I hope she senses that.

"See you later?" She directs at Drew, (see you later?) and Drew nods before she promptly strolls off.

All I can think is, that she hasn't seen Drew's eyes, the way they light up when he smiles, much more special than her smiles. She doesn't notice how Drew stops and stares when she passes, drinking in her image. She doesn't even know Drew, and she'll never see his light, his fire.

"Earth to Drew," my hand waves in front of his face, and my other hand dangling awkwardly at my side, brushes against Drew's firm hand. 

Drew blushes in embarrassment. "Right, sorry. Mathematics?"

I send him an eager grin. "Our favorite subject!" And Drew groans.

Thoughts fly into my brain the way light glows in Drew. That would've been a perfect moment, if Drew hadn't been staring into space at some other girl. If he'd been blushing in affection and not embarrassment.

I wonder if Drew would ever see us as more than friends, if he's ever considered me wanting him the way he wants her. But he's everything to me. He's in my comfort box, and that says a lot, because my comfort box is where I put the things I love with all my heart. 

How can I make him think of me? Only thing I'm made of is sunshine, music, and an awkward personality. But I think if we were to be together, we'd be a pretty good us.

Too bad now that Drew sees her instead of me, he just sees right through me. I'm the moth to the flame he's holding the matches, but she's the birthday cake he wants to arrange the matches on. 

Drew and I go well together. We both embrace our nerdy selves together. If we got closer, if he knew me better, we could be a beautiful, unbelievable miracle. Couple goals.

I want to open his eyes to this. I wish I could show him, and make him realize.

But my feelings are shadows in a faded light.

I slam my army green locker door shut, which just so happens to be Drew's neighbor. Drew looks at me curiously, wondering why I seem moody.

Because to him, I'm just invisible.