Sinners || Dottore

~5~

It was silent and the snowflakes danced gracefully carried by the wind. Looking outside on the so close yet so far away land of snow from the cracked, tiny window was rather boring, but calming activity. The house was located in the middle of nowhere so hardly anyone came by so I was allowed to do at least this much in my free time.

The memories of the past felt so distanced right now as It's been nine years already. I couldn't remember the warmth of a family any longer and the imagine of the loving father washed away. Somehow every time I tried to remember this memories, each of them felt fake. And today was a nostalgic day, after all once again i was nineteen. The time surely flies faster then expected and only the scares remain.

Daeran's experiments were cruel and painful. The numbness in my body made me almost unable to walk again as the serum he was testing right now damaged the nerves severally. Countless needles pierced my skin at this point, and even another one more might have been the last one for me. The fragile body of mine was now as if made of shattered glass, covered in bruises, cuts and burns. Thous things could be covered by clothing, but the most visible change that occurred after one of the experiments was located in the eyes. Somehow the pigment in the them ran out completely and only a blood remained making the pupils crimson red. It was hard to see at first, but after some time I got used to and it didn't make it difficult for me to function normally. Surprising for me and even for Dearen was fact that I actually didn't lose my eyesight from it. The biggest challenge was remaining sane after all this time being basically tortured. I did have a moments of doubts, but taking my own life felt worse then dying the dogs death. Maybe I still had some hope that I could survive that. If only someone were to pass by this dame house... But there was no one

The other thing that keep me from losing mind was the inner satisfaction that appeared after every experiment that ended in failure. And for some reason most of his experiments did not success. He wanted to find out about the meaning of my existence but he wasn't able to made it. The frustration he felt was visible in his every move. Having courage, place, time but yet still failing in aching his goal. This thought made me happy each time and gave me hope for the approaching final of my suffering.

-What do you think you are doing! - I didn't react as it was normal for him to shout at me from time to time when his frustration reached certain point. Soon a shattering sound could be heard "A vase?" I thought and shortly a red liquid flowed from the side of my face and i felt burning above my left eyebrow "Have he finally gone mad? Throwing a vase out of nowhere" - You useless piece of shit! - He quickly appeared in front of me and grabbed my shoulder "it hurts". I could barely stand on my own, but he did not seem to mind and dragged me away. - Your body must be broken! None of my experiments worked! Its been nine fucking years! I've had enough of it! Such a wasted time. - He shouted nonstop pulling me to the front door.

The day was extremely cold and without any warm cloths even breathing was painful. He dragged me a bit into the snowfield and when we were far enough from home he suddenly tossed me away into the snowdrift. My skin felt like on fire once it touched the deadly white fluff. Once I regained my consciousness from the shock and looked back, there was no home, nothing around, and Dearen was already far away, only a slim figure could be seen as the snowflakes was falling down from the sky.

- My body's broken? You are just a shitty scientist - I was angry and yet, it was finally peaceful. It wasn't so bad after all. I just had to close my eyes and sleep for eternity in this beautiful covered in white fur place. My head did not hurt anymore the blood stopped flowing, and only the filling of fire stayed on my skin "This death is not so bad I guess"

- What are u doing here? - A voice echoed and a shiver ran down my spine. When i looked up, a pair of crimson eyes was piercing my soul "him?" - Can you not talk? - anyone could sense his annoyance - Who did this to you?

No words came of my mouth as I couldn't open them anymore. I was tired and wanted to sleep, with the rest of my strength i pointed him the direction where Dearen went. He silently passed beside me and headed to my 'home' I smiled softly "If he is her I can die even more peacefully. I pity you Dearen..." A minutes flew by as I kept myself from closing eyes "a bit more.." Seconds later a painful scream could be heard even through the snowy weather "Finally, thank you... Zandik". That was the last thought until my mind went blank.