Castle of Cards

Prologue

"You can't send me to her."

"She is your mother."

"Doesn't make any difference. I've spent my whole life here. Why would I leave everything here and go all the way there? I've built myself in school through all the years just for the last year, and you're asking me to just drop it all?"

"we don't have a choice." He continued arranging his papers that were scattered on his desk. I clenched my hands tighter, nails digging into my palm.

"Why?"

"I've already told you many times, she wants you there, you have been here throughout your life it's good to have different experience before college."

Bullshit. "Now? Why am I the only person that needs 'experience'?"

"That's not true, your brother has been visiting."

"you really want me to believe that she wants to see me? when was the last time she's seen me? fuck. When was the last time she's called me?!" I said my voice notably raising.

Fuck. I shouldn't have said that. Or cursed. Or raised my voice. Shit, I'm so screwed.

As expected he slammed the papers on his desk. It was all quiet for a while. And then he turned to me, his face scarily calm.

"Is that how I taught you to talk to others?"

"Dad I didn't-"

"On a second thought, being away from here might be a requirement for you." no. no. no.

He straightened up and walked towards the door and then held it open for me to leave. He looked tired but he hid it well. His suit didn't have a single wrinkle on it. His lips pressed into a thin line.

That, is what they expect me to be.

And here I was. My top wrinkled, my hair wild and tears running down my face.

I slowly walked out. I turned to him trying to convince him one last time.

"Dad, don't do this."

He slammed the door on my face.

I stood there for a while staring at the door. I could feel two pairs of eyes at the back of my head. I took a deep breath and wiped my eyes. The door was clean to the point which I could basically see my reflection on it. I'd take my time ridiculing it in a different situation but I thanked the stars now and straightened my top and even settled my hair in a subtle manner.

I turned towards Esme and Vero who were looking at me and Nyx who didn't bother. They didn't know what to do, so I smiled. They got the cue. Act like nothing happened, as usual, shove it under the rug and pray that it fits.

"Do you need a ride?" Vero offered.

"Nah, I'll take my bike." I replied as I took out the gloss from my bag applying to my lips.

"I love your top." Esme tried.

It wasn't much. Just a white top with flowers all over it. It complimented my hair.

I fucking hated it.

"Thankyou."

"I'm leaving." Nyx announced as she briskly got out of her seat. Esme asked her to drive safely. She didn't reply.

Nyx was different. People referred to her as rude. But oh, to not give a fuck about what others think and to do as you please without really giving it a second thought. I wish I could do that.

I first met all of them when I was seven. My dad and Esme soon got married and all of a sudden, I was spending all of my time with three other people instead of staying alone almost the whole day.

When I was younger, my dad used come home really late from work when I was asleep or so he thought. I used to stay up and only allow myself to drift away when I heard his car pulling up in the drive way.

After Esme and him got married, it was totally different. He used to be back by the evening. He still spends an unhealthy amount of time working but he does it at home.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't jealous. It hurt seven-year-old me to think about it. I laugh at it now.

Esme is an angel. She is everything a mom should be and everything I didn't have. Vero is her younger daughter and the best sibling I could ever ask for.

"are you sure you'll be fine?"

"yes Vero, I'll be fine, great see." I made a vague gesture hoping it would convince her and did a good job doing it because she didn't press on the topic anymore.

I put the helmet on and got on my bike forcing myself to take in a deep breath. There were two ways to school. One that's longer and mostly free of people and one that's shorter and bustling with people.

It's not easy to create a whole fake persona and to keep up with it for years. It's not easy to have a mom who has a non-existent private life and is always busy working. It isn't easy having to see your own twin three times a year. It isn't easy being the school's sunshine girl when everything inside you is drenched in the darkness. And most of all it isn't fucking easy to see everything you've worked hard for snatched away from you because. Because. Because. And you don't even get to have a proper reason. I pedalled faster relishing the burn in my thighs.

The longer way it is.