Castle of Cards

1. YOUR TATTOO LOOKS LIKE MULTI-COLOURED BIRDSHIT

The night after Zoya's maa left with her brother, Zoya slept alone in her room for the first time without her brother. She wasn't just alone in the room, she was alone in the whole house; her dad was supposed to come back by half past nine, the clock ticked in her room. It was two in the morning. She wasn't counting on a call from anyone. Maybe she should've counted on one from Zach, but she knew better. Her maa didn't like them handling electronics much. Nadia was a busy woman. Zoya knew that. Which justifies her surprise when the phone rang a while later, it rings twice and before she could react, it stopped. She immediately got up to see who had called her. "Maa". 1 missed call, read the bright screen. Before she processed anything she was calling her back. Nadia picked up the call. Zoya remembered her asking why she was awake that late. She gave a lame excuse, she either didn't want to throw her father under the bus or she was scared to hear Nadia scoff when she actually admits that she was worried and she didn't want to go to sleep without knowing that her father was safe. She didn't know which was the actual reason, it might've been both. After a few minutes Nadia said that she had to leave and she hung up. This went on for three days.

On the fourth day, nobody called. It was fifteen passed two. Zoya decided to call this time. After a few rings Nadia picked up, she got to talk to Zach too this time. This went on for a week. On the eighth night, Zoya messed up. She fell asleep. She woke up gasping around four, she had a heavy feeling in her stomach. Something was wrong. She went through everything she had to do in her head. She realised she hadn't talked to her maa that night. She went to grab her phone. Nadia must've called her, I mean... she has to, right? She was her maa after all and it must've been odd to not receive a call from Zoya after Zoya had called her for the seven days prior.

There wasn't a single call. The heaviness in her stomach increased. She decided to call Nadia, despite it being four in the morning, Nadia had work really early so the chances of her picking up the call was in Zoya's favour. Nobody picked up her call. Maybe Nadia was asleep. Despite not wanting to, Zoya logged into her father's Instagram. Zoya had always been sneaky, she did respect her father's privacy. She just wanted to see when Nadia was last active. She would immediately log out of the account after that.

Nadia was online. Zoya stared at the green dot marked with an "active" beside it. It had to be a glitch, why else would she not pick up her call? She was going to log out when a message popped on top of her screen. "You need to ask her to stop calling me all the time, it's annoying." Zoya's fingers seemed to have a mind of their own. She opened the text; she must've read it wrong. She didn't know what she had expected, the same words stared back at her. She had read the text, she had to reply or else it might have raised questions. She went with a safe "shure". A spelling error. She was barely seven back then. She could've worked this out better, but she was a child. She didn't know.

Nadia had noted the spelling error, she knew. Her father, having received a mail about a new login and seeing the tiny interaction take place, knew too. None of them said anything, maybe they didn't care.

The first night when her maa had called her, she had mistaken the bright phone screen as hope. Six-year-old Zoya believed in fantasies, signs from universe and miracles. She looks back to it now and thinks to herself, maybe it was just a bright phone screen. It took a while for Zoya to actually take in what had happened. She wasn't prepared for the hollow realisation afterwards.

Zoya Varela couldn't feel.

*****

She fell for him.

And not in a heart throbbing, mind blocking, common sense flying out of the window, Taylor Swift Wildest Dream kinda way.

In a face palming into the floor kinda way.

"how's the weather down there?"

"wet, rich, disgusting."

"well hello to you too stranger, you going to tell me what you were doing breaking into my house."

She sits up brushing the non-existent dirt from her jeans and grabbing the front of her wet shirt so it doesn't stick to her stomach and moves it uselessly. This place is clean enough to trigger a headache.

"your tattoo looks like multi-coloured birdshit" She says pointing at it peeking out from the bottom of his cuffed shirt sleeve.

"wha- no it doesn't!" he looked the same as he did the last time. Red hair pushed back due to him running his hand through it a million times. A white buttoned shirt hanging loosely on his lean frame. One of his ears pierced. Brown eyes looking at her inquiringly and his face holding a frown instead of the lively smile it normally had.

She shrugs her shoulders and gets up from the floor.

"are you gonna tell me why there is water all over the floor."

"What better way to welcome you rather than to make you fall."

She scoffs at him and proceeds to walk towards the stairs. Zach had a rather concerning sense of humour.

"Zoya." She stopped midway as she heard him call out to her.

"Zach" She turned to see him standing with his arms open and the familiar soft smile gracing his features.

She stood there for a while looking at him like he was a fucking idiot. He didn't give up. He remained standing. Waiting.

She considered turning around and continuing her way up the stairs leaving him standing. Disappointing him. He knew. He could see the gears turning in my head. She could see that he could. Having a twin sucked at times.

And then Zoya's body smacked into his, her head into his chest. Her arms around his stomach in a death grip. One of Zach's hands was around her shoulders and the other caressed her hair. Sobs racked through her body.

"I hate them. I hate them so fucking much." She whispered.

"I know." He replied.

"I don't know what I'm doing here Zach." Zoya wiped her eyes using the sleeve of her hoodie.

"me neither." Zach sighs. "at least you don't have the flower girl shit going on."

"shut up. I'm so glad I destroyed your shirt." she hid the smile that threatened to break into her face and continued her way to her room.

"well, about that, we do have classes in like four hours so you better get ready."

"don't remind me. I hate when flights get delayed."

Her room was the same, at least as much as she remembers. It was soft beige with white curtains and mostly everything being either white or beige. Depressing. And on top of that it was clean. REALLY clean.

"I missed you little sister."

"Makes sense. I'd miss me too."

He scoffs followed by laughing softly. She missed him too.

"So tell me, how's life, any girlfriends I need to threaten?" He hesitates for a moment and then shakes his head. Zoya lets it go for now as she tugs the comforter off the bed and then places it again way more crooked than before. She takes the pillows and throws them randomly on the bed.

"boyfriend?" She notices the smile on his face as he nods his head.

"well I do like someone." Zoya raises an eyebrow questioningly. She goes to her desk and lightly shoves the pile of books making it fall and spread on the desk.

"hmm, good for him I guess." She says starting to unpack her bag, shoving the clothes in the closet.

"Do I get to know what happened to your flower girl phase."

"Stop calling it that, it's called an aesthetic." Zoya defended lamely.

"No it isn't. An aesthetic is supposed to describe who you are internally, externally."

"okay, future fashion major."

"I'm serious Zoya. You don't have to fake it here you know. As it is, you'll be gone after a year. People would be lucky to have a glimpse of the real Zoya."

She kept quiet not knowing what to say, hating how he had a point.