theodore nott right person wrong time

part three

(Your pov)

The metallic taste of blood filled your mouth from how hard you were biting the sides of your mouth, it was only like 15 more steps to the door, you could make that without breaking down. Right?
10 more steps
5 more steps
3 more steps
The feel of cold metal from the door knob brought you a strange sense of comfort, as did the bitter London weather. The second the bar door closed all of the previous strength vanished and nothing could stop the tears from pouring.

Ignoring the stares from people walking past, you tried to walk back to your apartment, it was only a 10 minute walk but it felt like hours, each step away from him felt like a fresh stab to your heart. By the time you made it back the tears had stopped but you were left with the same empty feeling that had haunted you for a year after Theo left last time.

Who did he think he was?
It took 4 months of therapy to stop the nightmares that had constantly plagued you.
It took 1 year of therapy to ease the numb feeling you had been left with.
Yet it took 2 minutes of being in his presence to destroy any progress you had made, and bring you back to square one.

Tonight was supposed to be a celebration as you were opening your bookshop tomorrow. It had been your dream since you were little. But you couldn't summon any excitement so instead of trying to salvage the night, you collapsed into your bed and tried to sleep, though for the first time in a year and a half you woke up in the middle of the night struggling to breathe through the pain he had left you with.

(His pov)

I woke up the next day with a pounding head and a hazy memory of the previous night. Though my luck only lasted for a few minutes before bits and pieces of my conversation with y/n replayed in my head like a video made to torture me. After she left I remember walking to a bar down the road but nothing after that.
Fuck.

I really fucked up, I meant what I said to y/n about leaving because I thought it was for her own benefit. That was the only thing that had kept me away all these years, I had an image in my head of y/n happy and free without me. but now that I know she suffered all this time, that she suffered because of me, I don't think I will ever forgive myself.

This whole situation was my fault and I had nobody to blame but myself.
Which meant I was the only one that could fix this.
And I quickly realised It doesn't matter if I spend the rest of my life trying to win y/n back, if I even have a 0.0001% chance I will take it, the possibility of her is 1000x better than the reality of anyone else.
I walked away once, I sure as hell wasn't going to make that mistake again.
I was going to fight. For her. For us.

(Your pov)

That morning had been so busy it almost took your mind off Theo. Almost. It was your shops official open day and it was a huge success, you had customers one after another all day and didn't  even have a chance to stop for lunch, you weren't complaining though. The day flew by so fast, by the time closing came around you were exhausted, you flipped the sign to the 'closed' side and made your way back to the till to finish off.

You were counting up the cash in the till when the sound of bells signalled someone walking in. "Sorry we are closed" you said without looking up.
"Im not here for books Cara Mia."
All air left your lungs. Your heart stopped and goosebumps covered your arms.
That voice. That nickname. It couldn't be. Not again.
But you knew it was. Maybe if you didn't look up he would go away.

"Please look at me y/n"
"No."
"Y/n"
"Why are you here Theo" it took every fibre of strength not to look at him, but you didn't trust yourself to look into his eyes and not crumble.
"Im here for you" the sound of his footsteps got louder until a shadow covered you and you realised he was right infant of you.
A low chuckle escaped from him as he reached for your chin, forcing you to meet his eyes. The eyes that use to bring you peace all those years ago. You were convinced you could hear your defences cracking more each second you spent in his presence.

crack. crack. crack.

"Please don't do this to me, it's cruel Theo."
"Please just hear me out"
"Nothing you say could change my mind" it was a lie, you were so close to giving in and that is why you needed him to leave.
"One chance to explain y/n, that's all im asking"

crack. crack. crack.

"Fine, but you are wasting your time" You watched nervously as he took a deep breath before starting.
"I know I said this last night, but I really need you to understand, everything I did was for you, I thought I was saving you from me,"

crack. crack. crack.

"I would have never left if I knew how much it would affect you, that was never my intention, your wellbeing has always been my top priority, it still is. I admit I was completely wrong and stupid to leave, and if I could go back in time, I would make sure I stayed. But I can't go back in time, which is why im here now, fighting for us."

crack. crack. crack.

"I promised myself I wouldn't walk away again, so I will wait. I will wait for as long as you need me too, but believe me when I say I will not give up on us."

crack. crack. crack.

"I love you cara mia. I have always loved you. So if I die trying to earn your love, so be it. Because these past two years I have not been alive, I died back at Hogwarts with you."

Your defences completely crumbled.

"Please don't cry y/n" he wiped away your tears and cautiously leaned in to kiss you on the forehead. His eyes watched you waiting for a sign that you didn't want him too. But you couldn't lie to yourself anymore. He was all you wanted.

As his lips softly pressed against your skin a feeling that had been absent for so long crept its way back in, it took you a few seconds to name it.

True happiness.