𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞//𝐣𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲

𝓼𝓪𝔂 𝔂𝓮𝓼 𝓽𝓸 𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓿𝓮𝓷

"Cause I've got my mind on you"

Today was the day. 
The one day in the year when I am the most vulnerable. 

I sigh and turn to look at Emily.
She is sleeping next to me.
I smile slightly, and I stand up.

It’s the middle of the night, and I'm leaning on the counter with a cup of tea, staring mindlessly into nothing.
I was thinking about things I could have done differently, like all the time.

Suddenly, I hear footsteps. I lift my head up to see my beautiful,black-haired,gorgeous girlfriend coming to me. 

She looks at me with concern. 
"Are you okay?" she asks. 

"I can't sleep," I say quietly. 
"It's Roslyn's death anniversary today, so..."
I say, looking down at my cup. 

She nods, coming up behind me and wrapping her arms around me. I can feel her sigh softly on your back.

"I'm sorry, babe. It's such a tough time. But I hope you know I'm here for you."

I nod right away. "I know you are...like always," I smile.

She holds me tight and kisses my neck, smiling a little.

"Well, if you can't sleep, you can at least rest... We can cuddle."

I smile. "That would be great, Em." 

She leans her head against mine and smiles softly.

"Come on."

She leads me to the couch and lays down, pulling me down on top of her and wrapping her arms around me. 

After a while, Emily strokes my hair and asks. 
"You miss her a lot, don't you?" 

At first, I was quiet,but then I talked my heart out to her. 

"Yeah, so much. She was the best older sister I could have dreamed of. You know, she would really like you."

"She would...?"
Her eyes lit up. 

I smile. "Yes, she would be so happy that you make my life better every day."

"I'm sure you're perfect for her."
She smiled softly again.

I pull her closer to me. 
Our hearts synchronized with each other. 

"I'm so happy I have you. I feel like Roslyn sent you to me," I whisper. 

"I'm happy I have you too."
She buried her head in my neck, closing her eyes.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Emily decides to take me out to a new coffee shop right next to her apartment. 

It's early in the morning, so there aren't many people. 
We order our coffees and sit next to each other. 

I must admit that this day may actually be good. 

Maybe the first good day of her anniversary, where I just don't lie in bed all the time and rethink every decision I have made in my life.

I feel like being with Emily is actually worth living for. 
But I don't want to jinx anything yet. 

I still can't hold her hand in public,even though I want it more than anything,mostly right now. 

Suddenly, I hear a voice behind my back. When I turn around, I see Natalie standing there with coffee in her hand. 

Big red scarf on her neck. Her curls are in her eyes. 
She is gorgeous. And now I feel too small to stand next to her. 

"Hey Em, you didn't reach out for long. How are things?" She asked,not minding me and just focusing her eyes on Emily. 

Emily just smiles awkwardly. 
"Yeah, I have been busy with work," she says. 

Natalie smiles and nods. Then she looks at me.

I wish I could prepare myself for what happens next. 
"Are you two together?" she asks. 

In that moment, I wish I would disappear right there. 

Because in that exact moment that Emily's mouth opens to say yes, I let out no of mine. 

Emily shot a look at me and raised her eyebrows. 

"Well, I let you be whatever you are. If you wanted to call me Em,you have my number," she says, touching Emily's hand,and then leaving. 

I can't even look into Emily's eyes right now. My head is spinning with thoughts. 

We are quiet the whole way back to her apartment. 
And then she starts.