Racing is life

17 ~ bandages

"Go easy on the hugs, mate." Charles laughs as I squeeze him, leaning my head on his chest as he wraps his arms around me. I smile as I breathe in the scent of his cologne. I've missed him so much.

He had to stay in hospital over night for observation or some rubbish like that because he apparently passed out on the way there. So Max brought me home this morning, and I'm going to spend tonight at his house. I didn't know Charles was going to be coming home tonight.

"Time for bed kid. You've got school in the morning." Max says, walking up behind us and smiling slightly. I sigh and let go of Charles.

"But Charles has just got home. Let me stay up late. Please." I whine, throwing my head back slightly and looking up at Max who shakes his head.

"You suck. Why couldn't I have gone home with Lando?" I ask, slight anger in my voice. Max furrows his eyebrows slightly and looks at me.

"Because Lando is basically still a child. He couldn't look after a thirteen year old girl for the night. You'd both die." Max states, raising his eyebrows at me. I give him a dirty look before walking up the stairs, to the guest bedroom where I'm staying tonight.

My phone buzzes and I look at the notification. It's Ella. Why can't she just piss off and leave me alone?

Ella:
'You fucking snitch.'
'You just wait until tomorrow.'
'I'll have your head
smashed in.'

I take a deep breath and throw my phone down on the bed before closing my eyes and tilting my head back to prevent myself from crying.

I quickly change into my pyjamas, before sitting down on the bed, pulling my knees up to my chest. I look down at my wrist. It's all my fault. Everything that happens is my fault. I ruin everything.

I take the phone case off my phone, a little silver blade from a pencil sharpener falls out onto the bed. I pick it up and take a deep breath, letting a few tears slip, before dragging it across my skin.

The blood begins to seep out of the wounds, as I just stare at my wrist, the tears in my eyes making my vision blurry. My ears are ringing as I struggle to focus. It feels like the world is falling apart all around me.

I hear some faint knocking, it echoing through my head, making my head feel like it is about to explode. I ignore it as I drag the blade across the inside of my forearm, pressing down harder so it goes deeper. It hurts so much.

"Em?" I hear someone say. It sounds more like a whisper. I don't know if that's because they are whispering or because my ears are ringing and I can't hear very well. "Emilie." The voice comes again, slightly louder this time, concern laced into their voice.

A large hand grabs mine, pulling the blade out of my grip with the other. I take a deep breath, tears running down my face as I look up to be met with Charles crouched down at the side of the bed, resting his elbows on the mattress next to me and holding my hand in a firm grip. He places the blade on the little table next to the bed.

"Emilie." He repeats, squeezing my hand slightly, trying to bring me back to reality. My eyes manage to focus as he wipes away my tears with his thumb. He looks scared and worried for me. I take a deep breath and fix my gaze on the blood making its way out of my body. There isn't much, but it still hurts.

"I'm so sorry." I whisper, tears streaming down my face once again. He shakes his head slightly, keeping his eyes on my arm.

"No baby, it's ok. Everything is going to be ok." He assures, his voice quiet and gentle. I lean my head against the backboard of the bed, and clench my eyes shut. What the fuck was I thinking? I'm so fucking stupid. My phone buzzes again, another notification from Ella. Before I can reach my phone, Charles grabs it and looks at the screen.