𝐁𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐌𝐞

XVI

As soon as they were sitting, Doris on a small yet cushy couch and Eva Barnes in the armchair across from her, Eva removed her glasses and set them on the center table, leaning back and massaging her temples. When she'd finished, she met Doris' eyes, and Doris saw for the first time how tired the woman looked.

"How did you find me?"

"The phonebook," Doris admitted sheepishly. The woman rose to the sound of the kettle going off in the other room, returning a few quiet moments later with tea in a hand-painted cup for Doris.

"I'm from England, you know," the woman said. "I moved here right around when your dad did."

As soon as the relief hit Doris that this woman was indeed open to discussing all this, and did indeed know what she was talking about, her curiosity took over. "Do you know who my father is? Because if I am who Kathleen – and you – say I am, and I'm related to her, and my mom was lying about that – because she was lying, and wasn't my real mom – she was probably lying about my dad too. I know now that it's pretty silly, the idea of me being related to John Len-"

"Oh no, your father is very much still John Lennon," Eva smiled, a hint of mischief and a hint of sadness in her expression. At the look on Doris' face she chuckled warmly, winking. "She didn't lie to you about everything, you know."

"But she did lie about so much. Why would she lie about so much?"

Eva sighed, taking a sip of her tea. "Kath- my sister- and this girl Helen Jones-"

"Mom-"

Eva nodded. "Kath and your... mom, used to be best friends. Both huge fans of the Beatles, had all the records and pins and badges and all manner of other things... particularly Helen, who took an especial liking to John. But, by some strange small chance, Kathleen and John met. John had just had his son and the band was just beginning to get big, Kath was getting ready for college, a lot was going on- but something blossomed very quickly between them.

"When Helen found out, she was passionately jealous, always trying to talk to Kath about what it was like with John, things like that, at all times. But it made Kath more and more uncomfortable, and she only started to put more distance between herself and Helen."

Eva leaned back, taking another sip of tea and rubbing her eyes.

"And Kath found out she was- going to have a baby, and Helen and I were the only two she told. Not even our parents knew. I was moved out by that point, and Kath came to stay with me until the baby was born."

She paused. "When Kath had the baby, things got more stressful for John. He already had a wife and son he was having to keep secret from the public, and now he had another family he was having to keep secret from his wife and the public. Kath hid at my house...

"And- and. And one night, Helen lost it and killed Kathleen, and took the baby. And no one I've spoken to has heard from her since."

Doris, still only beginning to process the shock of learning Mom had killed someone, was too overwhelmed by new information to be terrified. She could only think of the letters now, of Kathleen Barnes calling out to her Julie-baby, asking her to come back home...

"So- I am that baby?" Doris bit her lip, not sure what answer she wanted to hear.

Then her aunt Eva smiled and nodded. "Yes. Your real name is Julia Lennon. But your mummy liked to call you Julie."