They Called me a monster,
Never a lover,
I did it for love.
Watched him from the shadows to protect,
As my own heartache whispered the longing.
Yet, They Called me heartless,
Never a Selfless,
But still, I did it for love.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"You knew all along I was Porsche's Brother"
The glory of the hotel compound seems to mock the tragedy that was unfolding before Kim and Porchay. The Glowing sun was so cruel that it will always remind them of the beauty and love they once shared, now on the verge of loss.
Kim's expression was one of unyielding grit, a facade that barely hides the agony and sorrow that he feels deep down. His iconic Cold demeanor, He knows that what he is about to do will cause immeasurable pain to Porchay, but he has no other choice.
"Or else why would I tutor you?"
As Kim's words hang in the air, Porchay's eyes widen in disbelief. The realization dawns on him slowly, like a dark fog descending upon his mind. Tears well up in Porchay's eyes, mirroring the anguish and betrayal he feels.
Porchay struggles to find his voice, to make sense of the sudden turn of events. "How can you say that" hiss voice is barely keeping himself from trembling and lumping but, choked with emotion.
Kim's gaze softens, a flicker of pain and regret crossing his face. He wants to hold Porchay, to tell him everything will be alright, but he knows that this pain is necessary.
"Let me just ask you this!" with a hope and determination that his love for Kim has given him till now. Porchay holds his hand to stop him.
Desperation fills Porchay's voice as he pleads, "Have you ever loved me?." His words were a raw outpouring of emotion, a plea for the one person who gave meaning to his life once again. He just wanted to know atleast feeling weren't a lie.
After his Parents, That Drunkard Uncle and Porsche, why did they all left? Was he this unlucky? with a heavy heart and tears in his eyes, takes a step back, his resolve unbroken. He just wanted to be loved once without someone leaving him alone. He just wanted to be with someone who can stand by his side.
"I am sorry"
With one final look, Kim turns away, his footsteps echoing against the concrete road as he walks away from Porchay, leaving him standing alone in the broad light of the day.
Porchay watches in silence, tears streaming down his face, feeling the emptiness of his heart like a gaping wound. And he broke down, Crying as he hugged his knees.
He cried pathetically. He couldn't believe the words. This wasn't how it supposed to go. And in the end he still couldn't confronted him.
Kim hears the loud sobs his Chay was gasping within. But without glancing or saying anything he made his way toward the Car. He shutted his Ear and mind or he would be back there.
"Fuck you Kimhan how could you be so cruel to him most importantly Yoursel" Kim started hit himself. The weight of his actions bears down on him, and he collapses on the Front seat of his car, the tears he had been holding back finally breaking free.
The lie he told Porchay now a crushing burden, and the consequences of his actions weighed heavily on his soul. He broke him. Regardless, He knew that what he had done was necessary, but that did little to ease the pain of the loss of his Lover, his Angel , his Porchay.
Now Kim was left alone with his grief and the regret of a decision that has cost him everything. Yet he was in Front of the same building he taught Porchay for the first time. From where everything started. The lie, manipulation and love.
Hurriedly he made his way towards the Apartment without seeing the studio or letting any guard see his broken state.
Too calm himself down, Kim stood in the steamy shower with red eyes, the water glistening down his body. As the droplets mixed with his tears, he let out a deep sigh. The warmth of the water enveloped him, but it was not warmer having Porchay beside him. With each breath, he tried to calm the storm raging within him.
"I love you Porchay, I love you so much"
In that moment, he allowed himself to break down, to let the pain and sadness wash away. And as the water continued to flow, he found solace knowing that he had made the difficult choice to protect Chay, even if it meant sacrificing his own happiness.
Soon Kim motionless in his apartment, feeling a heavy wave of emotion as he stumbled upon the cabinet near sofa with guitar in his hand, hidden Polaroid. That photograph captured a moment of pureness. The memories flooded his heart with a mix of longing and pain.
Tears streamed down Kim's face as he realized the depth of Chay's gesture. The Polaroids were carefully placed in every corner of the room so kim could never feel alone, serving as bittersweet reminders of relationship they had. Kim's heart ached with the weight of unspoken words and unfinished conversations.
As he picked up each photograph placing them in a safe box. The smiles frozen in time, the embraces captured in the frame - they all whispered that they were supposed to be together never alone.
Chay was sunshine in darkness of his life.
Kim's hands trembled as he clutched the memories close to his chest, his heart breaking with every beat.
'I miss you'
Among the sea of Polaroids, one picture stood out - Porchay with his soothing smile and bright Bambi eyes. It was a snapshot of a time when everything felt right, before the shadows of doubt and fear crept in.
"Was this the right decision?"
A sob escaped Kim's lips as he sank to the floor. He had walked away to protect him, to shield him from the pain that threatened to consume them both. But now, surrounded by the remnants of their love, Kim couldn't help but wonder if he had made the right choice.
"Please pick up. Please. Please. Please. Chay. Please. Forgive me. Forgive your Phi kim"
One last time he tried to call. But that offered nothing but silence from other side.
Kim grieved for the love that was lost, for the future that would never be. The Polaroids lay scattered around him, a silent testament that Apath Kimhan was in love. And as the sun drown below the horizon, casting a last golden glow over the room, Kim whispered a silent goodbye to the love he had left behind, knowing that it was now lost forever.
