The Parts We Play

She May Not Remember Me, But I Remember Her

Aja packed the last of her things, preparing to visit Earth. For some weeks now she'd been mentally and emotionally bracing herself for this visit, but she found it was necessary.

She needed to break up with Steve.

The idea felt like it was taking sandpaper to her core, scraping away within her. But she'd begun to realize how truly difficult it was to lead Akiridion-5, and especially how much so it was to do it alone. Rebuilding the Council had taught her what to look for in someone to rule beside her, and Steve just... wasn't it.

As much as Aja still cared deeply for him, she was resigned to this. She knew what she needed- what Akiridion needed -Steve couldn't provide. Calm, courage, intelligence- Steve had his share of personal growth and virtues, but he was no King of Akiridion. Aja knew this. Now she had to somehow figure out how to give Steve an honest breakup without breaking him.

She sighed as she activated her personal wormhole to Earth, glancing at Eli to check he was ready. He was planning to join his family for his yearly vacation on Earth and spend some quality time with them while Aja handled her business in Arcadia. He put a comforting hand on her shoulder and nodded, and Aja led the way through the glowing vortex.

Before long they found themselves just down the street from Steve's house, Aja pacing nervously.

"Am I doing the right thing?" She fretted for the seventeenth time.

Eli put his hands on her shoulders. "If it's worrying you this much, maybe you should wait until you've had more time to think through it."

Aja shook her head. "No... no, I know I need to. It's not fair to Steve to string him along."

They walked up and knocked, Aja wringing her hands together.

Coach Lawrence opened the door and welcomed Aja in gladly, and called for Steve to come greet his guests.

And thus, the moment Aja had been dreading. She'd practiced this in her mind- she was prepared for a lot. She was ready for Steve to be angry- she was ready for him to sob, or to be so shocked he laughed, or to just look numb.

She wasn't prepared for the quiet, hurt "Oh" she received. She wasn't prepared for how he couldn't look at her, staring blankly past her at the back of the couch, tears welling silently in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry," she breathed, voice catching in her throat, fingers digging into her own forearms. "I'm so, so sorry, Steve. I swear to you that if I had been born a girl with the freedom to choose anyone in the universe, it would have been you." She swallowed and looked down. "But I don't get to choose. I'll probably end up with some politician I can barely stand long enough to make public appearances with. Seklos and Gaylen, I wish I could choose you instead."

"I know," Steve offered weakly, almost plaintively. He sniffed a bit and swallowed. "I'm- sorry you feel trapped. That you don't get to have what you really want." It wasn't clear whether he meant trapped with her obligations, or trapped with him, and it didn't matter, because Aja promptly burst into tears, and Eli gently led her out before coming back to take care of Steve.

Aja found her way to the empty shell of the Mothership, curled in on herself, tears running freely down her face and core feeling as hollow as her former home.

When she knocked, Krel was almost instantly there- Eli had texted him to warn him. His concerned look deepened when he saw her.

"Sweet Seklos, you really did it," he murmured, pained on her behalf. With his lower two hands he held her upper arms, running his thumbs gently over the fingers that dug into herself so hard her knuckles looked pale. With his other two hands, he gently cupped her face and brushed her tears away, and kissed her forehead as they were replaced.