Hazbin Hotel x reader scenarios and oneshots

The Whole "Being Dead" Thing - Alastor x Reader

Gender Neutral Reader

So, in this fic, you are the person who welcomes sinners to Hell, like Saint Peter, though, your song isn't trash
A/N - This entire thing is a just something i made up, in no way is it theories i have, its just for fun, don't come after me
Song: The Whole "Being Dead" Thing - Alex Brightman (Video Above)

Y/n's POV:
I sat in my dressing room, getting ready for my weekly performance. Most people would assume I get bored of doing the same thing every week, but to be honest, it's quite entertaining. Welcoming sinners into eternal damnation after they've been waiting at the gate for who knows how long, it's fucking hilarious. See, the difference between going to the gates of Heaven and going to the gates of Hell is, in Heaven, you get greeted right away and get to enter straight away after a really shitty song, where in Hell, you have to wait outside the gates until its time for me to welcome new sinners every Saturday, if you arrive on Sunday, tough shit, you gotta wait a whole week till you can enter. Sucks to suck.

"Y/N? Hurry up, you have 5 minutes before you have to be out there greeting sinners!" My boss, Rodney, says while pounding on the door. I sigh and finish freshening up. I open the door and step out.

"Ok, I'm ready, lets fucking do this," I say as I walk towards the gates. I stop in front of  the gates while I hear on the opposite side my best friend singing a ballad about the history of Hell. I hear my cue as she finishes.

"Holy crap, a ballad already?" I pause as the gates open and the sinners turn their attention to me. "And such a bold departure from the original source material!"

Show time.

Third Persons POV:
"Hey, folks! Begging your pardon
'Scuse me, sorry to barge in
Now lets skip the tears and start on the whole
Y'know, "being dead" thing," Y/n sings as the sinner's cautiously walk in through the gates, looking around.

"You're doomed! Enjoy the singing," Y/N continues, pointing to one of the new comers. They smirk to themselves as they can see the person basically shit themselves. They feel amused by the sight as they continue, not aware of who all was watching their weekly routine.

"The sword of Damocles is swinging, and if i heat your cellphone ringing" They say as their fake sweet smile turns serious. "I'll re-kill you myself, the whole "being dead" thing,"

"Death can get a person stressed
"We should've carpe'd way more diems
Now were never gonna see 'em"
I can show you what comes next," Y/N says as they make sure they have everyone's attention.

"So don't be freaked
Stay in your seats" Just as that line is said, someone beside the group gets killed and eaten by cannibals. A few of the new sinners throw up whole the rest yell.

"I do this bullshit like ate times a week
So just relax, you'll be fine, drink your fifty dollar wine and take a breath," They continue with no care for whats happening. They hop up on one of the near-by vehicles, noticing a crowd has formed around the scene, including the residents and employees of the Hazbin Hotel in which Charlie has invited to meet Y/N as see what she has to help with every Saturday morning. They all watch curiously as Charlie passes Y/N a ukulele that they start strumming, singing along in a peaceful way.

"You're
You're gonna be fine
On the other side
Die! You're all gonna dien
You're all gonna die!" They say aggressively, pointing the ukulele like a gun before snapping it over their knee as lights start to flash red and white in order to scare the group of new comers, which works, every time. Charlie passes Y/N a new ukulele as they start singing and playing peacefully again.