Some people scared
to get Broken Down;
NGL - Me too;
Just look how it sounds:
As if: Smh "Wrong" with me
When in Reality
I just needed Extra Attention
To What I Neglected About Myself.
Its ah Process;
Inner Messy
At least that's what I saw
When I Entered Checking
Inventory Mental
What I'm Keeping ?
What I'm Throwing Out?
Some Shit I was holding on to
like Horder The Proud
but the New Me
That Wanna Emerge ?
Kept Hittin my hand
Like put that shit down
So 1by1
I started putting things into place
& Permanently throwing things out .
I really didn't have no choice
Since , My Mind BEEN made up
about My Future
Its all I ever been talking about
I mean
I couldve just let shit pile up
However what good
does that do for me
Its Only in my way when I Need
or Want to get around
But I liked to hold on
because of the memories it brought
Limiting my mindset that
this is the best life will offer
So Even when I wasn't fully happy
I felt accomplished.
it turned sour tho
Real Quick
Regretting I didn't do other things
to bring me better options
In the "What if" mentality
I kept starting and stopping
Going back,
maybe it'll work out for me This time;
Unhealthy Coping.
I was told not the 1st time
the 2nd and the 3rd;
ignorant atp ;
to anything mirror was nodding ..
it took betrayals that i felt
was just out of pocket .
Higher looking at.
My inner child and teen like
"You Ready bc all this shit
im dead stopping."
Held funerals when I Transmuted
The PAIN like Rapping Sermons .
Still Wouldn't let the dead rest
So, I went back for the preaching like:
Break it down God;
I want to learn how to fish
I want to learn the fishes
Learn them
Now, I heard you.
Sent back in my mental room
With this to think about
I might be letting go but sometimes
it causes MORE damage
if I'm holding on
Rock bottom
Cuz the bottom you touch when you steel. Rocking
I said:
its ah bottomless pit
If you Fighting Change?
You'll Keep Falling
Why I was really Still
While them saying :
"I Was Lazy"
They Didn't Innerstand I was Still
to Accept Divine Knowledge
Like rock me god
Theh God grew this baby
[ original posted on : Feb.7.2024 ]
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