𝐏𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐫 𝐗 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤 - 𝟓

It's Ok ☆

𝐀/𝐍 - All credit goes to the writer selfcarecap on Tumblr

https://selfcarecap.tumblr.com/post/663773809271324672/how-about-a-fic-like-the-one-u-did-with-peter

Parings → Peter Parker x Reader

Warnings → making out, nervousness

Summary → The reader doesn't want to have sex but also she wants to make Peter happy.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★

It's not the first time that you're making out with Peter. It's also not the first time that it's getting a bit heated.

Now's your time to stop before it gets too heated.

But it feels good. You're not really thinking about what's going to happen next. You're not thinking anything is going to happen next, except for you to continue kissing.

But suddenly Peter's hands are under your shirt, travelling up your sides. "You know, I've been thinking," he says, pulling away from your lips to kiss your neck, "We could take this a step further."

His voice is shaky when he says it, and in his eyes you see he's unsure, he's nervous. How could you say no to him when he looks so adorable?

You gulp and then you nod, trying not to look at him.

"Can you say it for me?" He requests, lightly kissing your chest over your shirt.

"S-say what?"

"That you want this as much as I do," and once the words leave his mouth he looks up at you, a cute smile on his face.

"O-of course I do, yeah," you force a smile to your lips to mirror Peter and before he can possibly detect that your smile is fake, he's kissing your lips.

You grip his hair, pulling him towards you so he can't pull away from the kiss and you'd have to open your eyes again. If he looked into them he'd easily be able to tell how you really feel.

It's just sex, you tell yourself. It's not a big deal. It'll feel good, you're sure. Peter is so eager and giddy, you'll take a little discomfort to see him keep that happiness.

But as Peter sits up to take off his shirt, a feeling of dread settles low in your belly. It's not that you don't like seeing him shirtless, but it's the awareness of what's going to happen next that scares you.

"Uh I-," you say louder than you intend, sitting up. You clear your throat and Peter looks at you, holding his bunched up shirt to his chest.

"Yeah?" He asks, eyes big and round and full of concern. That's exactly what you didn't want.

"Um, sorry, nothing. I was.. just wondering if you have condoms."

You're not looking at him, but maybe that gives away how you're feeling even more.

"H-hey, what's wrong? We don't have to do this, you know?" He sits down right in front of you and he says it with so much love and care that your heart hurts.

"I'm sorry," you whisper before tears sting in your eyes and your face scrunches up as you try to contain a sob.

Peter's arms wrap around you immediately, his hands stroking up and down your back, "What are you sorry for? Everything's okay."

You calm down after a few moments, and with a lump still in your throat you explain. "Sorry, I'll be ready in a second. You can get the condoms already."

"Why would I get condoms?" Peter asks, eyebrows drawn together.

"To have sex... duh," you smile but it doesn't reach your eyes. You playfully poke Peter in the chest but he takes your hand in his and looks right into your eyes.

"Do you want to have sex?" He asks.

You look away, "Not... not right now, but um..."

"Then why would we have sex?" Peter asks again, eyes kind and understanding.

You shrug, wiping your tears, "Well. Well, you wanted to and-"

"And you didn't. It takes two to tango-" you giggle when he says it so seriously and he smiles too, but keeps talking, "I mean it. Would you want to have sex with me if I didn't want to?"

"Of course not," you reply.

"And I don't want to have sex with you if you're not in the mood either. So please, I won't be offended or mad or anything other than glad that you told me how you really feel. And I'm sorry I didn't notice that you didn't want to earlier."

You press a kiss to his cheek and shrug, "I was trying to convince myself that I wanted to. How could you know how I was feeling when I was lying to myself? I promise I'll tell you how I really feel from now on... And you really aren't mad? I could see how happy you were at the thought of having s-"

"I could never be mad. Sex isn't something you just.. put up with and endure. People have sex to enjoy themselves. And if both of us wouldn't be enjoying it, I don't want to do it."

You smile, feeling something shift inside you. You'll remember him saying this for a long time, and you hope you'll never feel the need to lie to yourself about what you want in order to make someone else happy again; someone else who, turns out, wouldn't even want to do this if his feelings aren't truly reciprocated.

Peter pecks your lips and wraps his arms around you once more, resting his cheek on your shoulder. You feel yourself letting out a deep breath of relief.

You hug for a few minutes, not letting each other go.

"How about we watch a film," Peter suggests, slipping back into his shirt after you pull away.

"Or we could just... make out again?" You say, pursing your lips.

"Or we could make out again," he grins, lying down next to you to kiss you some more.

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