The Regretevator writing dump / oneshots (regretefic)

P0pt4rt (unpleasant gradient and infected)

Infected rolled his eyes hard as the unpleasant gradient followed him around, everywhere and always. It was bad enough that he had atrocious fashion tastes (reminiscent to Adam Sandler lmfao) but it was worse when unpleasant kept following him around, making people give questioning stares and a few comments.

"How come he always follows you around?"

"Is he a stalker??"

Oh how he wished. But unfortunately, Unpleasant was just simply a worried father, as much as he'd hate to admit it. That the stupid guy who picks his nose and makes the most cringe-worthy jokes for white teenagers quite literally adopted him...sigh he already missed his real parents...although infected knew he had no right to speak about them...

Even the other npc's questioned from time to time..especially party noob-

"Say!! Why duz that dood keep following u?"

"Uh...w3ll h3's um..."

"Is he liek ur cousin?"

"N0...h3z my d4d .-_.-"

"..NO WAY!? that maekz so much sense!!!!"

Infected groaned, rubbing his temples.

"JUst d0nt t3ll 4any0ne 0k?"

"I won't!"

Welll- poob did in fact tell everyone the news.

And soon he was cornered from all sides, every one of them questioning him

"I thought you said your dad was builderman?"

"なんて皮肉だな...heh"

"Aww infected you should've told us sooner! And I thought he was over there being creepy!"

"How come your dad didn't contract those germs..? Wait is he infected too-!?"

"Ain't no way yer dad is that booger rubbin weirdo"

"DOES HE WORK FOR THE GOVERMENT!1?!1?1!1?!1?1!1?!?1"

Finally after what felt like the most embarrassing 4 hours of his life, he was finally alone...well...as alone as he can get with unpleasant, he groaned under his breath when he heard him walk next to him, he just kept his head away as they stood in the elevator. He tried to keep his mind off of this situation but his thoughts all circled back to one thing.

His cat.

"...1 m1ss p0pt4rt :[" he sighed "wh4t3v3r h4pp3n3d 2 h1m?"

Unpleasant tensed up slightly "..just as confused as you are bud.." he muttered.

"NUh Uh >:[ I kn0w U d1d smth 2 him!!>_<" he huffed and glared at unpleasant, giving him the side eye

"Really? You're gonna just say I did something to that stupid cat of yours? For gods sake I'm your fathe-"

"1 d0nt c4r3 br4h! Y0u alw4yz l1k3 t0 m4k3 pr0bl3mz! I w0Ulndt 3v3n b3 sUrpr1z3d 1f U 4t3 h1m!"

Unpleasant quickly turned his head

"Excuse me??"

"YUh hUh! U h34rd m3!"

"Now why would you think-!?"

"B3c4Us3 1 Kn0w U d0nt l1k3 m3 0k???"

Silence

Unpleasant stared in disbelief, with a twinge of confusion

"..What..?"

"....U d0nt l1k3 m3....d0nt U? TH4TZ why U g0t r1d of p0pt4rt!" He coughed out, placing his fist near his mouth

"What...no- no of course not??? You're my son. And even if you aren't my 'real' one I still see you as family-"

"Th4tz BUllshiz" he huffed out

"Infected."

"1 d0nt w4nn4 h3ar it >:/"

"Now listen here-" he said in a stern voice, but a sudden "ding!" From the elevator cut off the tension, the doors slid open to reveal a mass of players entering

"I'm l3av1ng! N00bz!" And before unpleasant could catch up, infected had already left.

...

Oh Great...

-----

He recalled that moment.

That oh so special moment.

As clear as day.

And yet he still refused to bring up that day, shoving it deep in the back of his mind. Unable to bring himself to face that reality.

When the strings of flesh and fur got stuck between his teeth

When the squelching bits of blood ran through his palms like slithers of snakes, staining and painting his hands.

The taste of the chunky flesh sent a shiver down his spine, causing his pupils to dilate, it made him have a growing urge. No. A NEED, a need for MORE.

MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE.

He suddenly heard the door creak, the bright light from the other side illuminating his bloodied body and the carcass of a small black. What a beloved black cat...

The familiar voice stuttered in disbelief, understandably incredibly horrified. Almost gagging at the sight.

"Infected-??"