The list of sinners

...Celia...

After nine hours of travel, due to lack of sleep, the uninvited visitor, sleep, had embraced me for several hours. I had leaned my head against the window and my hair had served as a light blanket. Sleep was disrupted when I felt the car shaking. The road was unpaved in some places, which unsettled me. I woke up in a daze and glanced left and right to be more aware of what was happening.

-Don't worry, miss.-i heard the driver's voice.- It's just a small road bump.

The driver's voice brought me back to reality. My eyes were still heavy from sleep, but the message passed clearly through my ears.

-Alright, -I said.

I leaned back and started fixing my hair that had gotten tangled on my face. I rubbed my eyes and stopped a yawn escaping my mouth. I took my phone in hand and checked the time. It was exactly 11:00. It wanted to go to New Haven. Along the way, there was nothing interesting except views of vast green fields and then the transition to human creations, the houses of cities and factories. I was thinking about my new life. I was thinking about university, thinking about the new experiences I would create, even though anxiety was tormenting my heart. Truly, the journey was becoming as tiring as ever, but like everything else in life, journeys end no matter how long and endless they may seem.

-New Haven, Connecticut.

That's what I managed to read from a sign that I had already left behind. I was entering New Haven.

-Finally, we're in Connecticut.

I positioned myself immediately by the window. I didn't want to miss anything. I wanted my eyes, like a camera, to capture as much as possible and store them in the album of my mind.

-We'll be in New Haven very soon, miss, but I'll drop you off in the city center since that is as far as I can go.

-Thank you for the tireless work you've done.

-You're welcome.

Very quickly, I found myself in the city center. I couldn't wait to see more.

-Here it is, - said the driver and stopped the car in the designated parking area.

He got out of the car and started taking out my suitcases from the trunk. For a moment, I hesitated to get out. I remembered my father. What if he was already upset ? What if he didn't know how to cook and made a mess at home ? What if something happened ? Panic overwhelmed me. I was losing the optimism that characterized me. This wasn't me. Celia didn't get demoralized, Celia didn't think so darkly. I took a deep breath and put a smile on my face. I opened the door and grabbed the bag that had stayed in the corner throughout the journey. I got out of the car and closed the door. I took a step forward but felt the roots of my hair tighten.

-What the hell...

I turned my eyes to the car door and noticed that some strands of hair had gotten stuck in it. I took a step and opened the car door again, pulling out the hair. With my hand, I gently brushed the roots that made my eyes tear up. I put the bag on my shoulder, grabbed my suitcases, and handed the tireless driver the money for the fare.

-Thank you very much,- I said and took my suitcases, walking towards the unknown direction.

I took out my phone and started looking at the address of my house. Although it was still warm like a summer day, I had to raise the brightness of my phone to read it clearly.

-Ouch !

-Hey, be careful, watch out !

I felt my body collide with someone. My phone got stuck behind my sternum and for a moment I thought I had broken it in two.

-I'm sorry...

-Are you okay ?!-the voice asked.

A gentle female voice pulled me out of that awkward moment. I raised my eyes and saw a girl about my age, maybe a little older. She had grabbed me by the arm as if to save me from some unexpected danger.

-I'm fine, thank you... and you ?-I asked

-I'm fine, I thought you broke your phone...

-No, it seems okay, no worries.

-I don't want to be annoying , but are you a tourist ?!

-Em...not really,-I said. - I came here for my studies and I have no idea where this address is.

I turned my screen phone towards her face. Her eyes fixed on the address, and the expression on her face made me understand that she knew the location well.

-I know where it is... if you need any help...

-Really ?!-I exclaimed.- I mean, if you're not bothered...

-Let this be an apology for my previous behavior...

-O-okay.

The girl took one of my suitcases and led the way. I felt somewhat relieved that at least someone was helping me and I didn't look like a fool wandering the city streets. Nonetheless, she seemed pleasant at first sight.

-Sooo, for studies, right ?

-Yes...

-At Yale University ?

-Yes, again.

-Yale is one of the best universities for studying law,-she added.-It seems like you were a geek back in highschool...

-I've studied my ass off to get here...

-Learning is important, but you can't spend all your time buried in books, you know... sometimes it's just nonsense.

-I actually enjoy reading, even though it seems outdated today... maybe that's why...

-That's why, what ?

-Maybe that's the reason that I never had any friends...

-I'm sorry to hear that...

-But it's all in the past now.

I got used to smiling at everything, even in the most darkest moments of my life I still choosed to smile. Whether that was a form of patience or stupidness, I didn't quite know yet.

-You look like a little Scottish. You don't even look like you are nineteen.

-Well, I have deep roots from there and you're right because cuckoos have this quality to look about two years younger.

-You are very pleasant and very sweet for this wild world, -she says.- But you are more likely to do well here even though there is nothing fun to do here.

-What do you mean ?

-Well, peace has been somewhat disrupted by recent events.

-What events...

-We made it !

Her high pitched voice interrupted my question. What did she mean by that ?

-We are exactly at the address you requested. Now do you know the house you will stay in ?

-In fact, I have never been in New Haven since I did everything over the phone.

-Do you have a photo or something like that ?

-Of course...here it is.

For the second time, I turned the phone towards her and this time it wasn't promising. Her face looked pale as if I had scared her the most on the screen. She turned her body and started to fidget a lot. She tried to normalize her condition and to remove any shadow of doubt that arose in those moments.

-Here ?! Are you sure you will stay here ?