A Matter of Unimportance

27. Basil

God moved almost immediately after our altercation. I did not know where he moved to. Nobody was willing to tell me that bit. I found out eventually, but that's not relevant to this part. I was only told that he moved, presumably to get away from me, or the people I knew who could make him tremble.

I did not move. I lived in my grandfathers home with the knowledge that he knew I was there, and that he knew I was aware of that semi dangerous fact. He left me alone anyways, and through the whispers I was told enough to be fairly confident that he was set on continuing on without paying mind to me or my endeavors.

Because of this, I was not afraid anymore. I had been through several cycles of fear since meeting him when I was a teenager. Years of fear had followed me, but after finally being rid of his presence, I was no longer scared. I'd surpassed him in my life, finally.

It helped that it was just me. I didn't have Whaya. I didn't have close personal friends, although my acquaintances were ever growing in number and I viewed the potential of friendship as something to ponder as I went into the future. I was aware though that there weren't people he could use to hurt me anymore. They were all gone. It was just me, and I could handle myself.

And then Riley came along.

I did not fall in love with Riley. I was just simply in love with him. There was no falling. It happened quickly and without warning, like a flicker of the lights on and off. He was a shattering force. His laughter alone made my heart beat speed up so quickly I thought I'd simply go into cardiac arrest. He was just so insanely and aggressively perfect.

Actually, he was kind of a mess. It would have been impossible not to notice that part of him. He was a disaster with every step he took. I could practically feel the world shake around him in trepidation every time he walked into a room.

Riley was a drug addict with an affection for schedule II opiates. Riley was at least partially infatuated with his heterosexual roommate. Riley was regularly suicidal and talked openly about how stopping to get a happy meal from McDonald's on the way was part of his self destruction plan. These were things I learned about him that very first day in my kitchen because he spoke of them openly to me as if they were items of minor importance.

And yet, when he held my hand, he held it tightly. He clenched it so hard it hurt, and I could feel something like desperation in the way he used it to hold himself presently on earth. He called me beautiful and cosmic and enchanting. His manners were impeccable. When he sat down for dinner at my home on that very first night, he thanked me repeatedly. He complimented everything in my home, from the newly strung beaded curtains, to the mural I'd painted above me bed. He marveled at my garden as if he'd never seen one before, and then confided in me that he lived in a high rise and had in fact never participated up close in a garden of any kind except for on television. I'd thought he'd come to sleep with me, but he never even tried to kiss me until after I'd blatantly asked for it while I handed him a third glass of red wine left over from well before my grandfather Benjamin left. I loved that wine. I'd saved it for an unknown occasion, and prompting a gentle kiss from a boy that was rosey cheeked and unexpected was the perfect time.

We did eventually sleep together. It was late that night. He'd sobered again by then. It was well after I thought he'd leave, but he stayed. He stayed the entire evening, and when we did eventually make it into bed he was cordial about asking me to have sex with him. He was vocal about what he wanted, and then promptly submissive and appreciative and nothing even remotely to what I expected.

Afterwards, he was quick to put his clothes back on, like he was embarrassed to be found without them. I thought he'd then leave, but instead he settled himself back on the bed and curled up on his side, and it was then that I realized he intended to stay. I put on recently purchased pajamas with roses on them and then joined him.