𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒍, matthew sturniolo

⁰⁰²Thoughts

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introducing...

📞

! chapter two !

by eve

🕯️

now playing...

! ribs - lorde !

! k. - cigarettes after sex !

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I walk through the silver crystally rain, wishing it could all just go away. Every step I take, every thump of my converse, every single light that shines from above reminds me of her, of him. They both have left me.

I remember the tears that pulled at my eyes, the sobs that cried from my throat. The arms that surrounded me, enclosing me in apologies. I can still feel the shock that resonated through me in that moment. I tried to forget. I tried to forget. I didn't work.

I finally reach my car, pulling open the door with a click. Then I fall into the driver's seat and pull open the small mirror I had packed in my car. When I open it the circular lights glow on my face from it. I look at myself.

I remember getting that call. It was so devastating, hearing the words on the other line. It was so hard to accept that he was gone, that his life was gone just like that. I would do anything to go back in time and tell him to stay home, to not drive that night, but that's not possible.

I stare at my reflection, my hazel eyes gazing back at me, my dark brown hair gathered at my shoulders, draping over my hoodie. My lips are a dark-ish pink, lip gloss being swiped over them. Then I sigh heavily, closing the mirror and putting it away.

I cried so hard that I couldn't breathe, couldn't speak a word. Everyone tried to ask me and my mom how we felt, how we dealt with the pain. But that wasn't an easy question to answer, making tears gather in my eyes, my mind making me shove them away. Finally, the questions died down, and I started to cope with the loss. I tried harder to forget, and to only hold onto the memories.

I lock the car keys into the ignition and grasp the wheel. I start the car and drive down the endless stripe of pavement, cars crowding the curvy roads. After about twenty minutes I arrive at my house, my car stalling in the driveway.

I finally was able to breathe. I was finally able to heal, able to think about my dad and our memories together rather than the fact that he wasn't with us anymore. I took a breathe. It felt like I was finally swimming to the surface, not sinking to the bottom. But then I got another call, and the moment was put on repeat.

I open the front door of my house, my footprints engraved in the stone pathway behind me. I greet my mom while walking down the corridor, my converse dusting the floors. I open my room, the familiar scent of vanilla splashing around me.

Again, I was broken. Why did it have to be over call? She was still here then. Why couldn't she just tell me in person that she was leaving, rather than just calling me, leaving me alone to cope with it? That night I couldn't breathe again, tears erupting from me for the second set of tears without her there to comfort me. And the tears couldn't seem to stop as I realized I probably wouldn't ever see her again.

I lay on my bed trying to take deep breaths as if I didn't want to cry, because my mom would then ask questions. But that's not what I need right now. I don't need questions about how I feel again, about how much it hurt me that Lillie is now gone. I already went through that with my father, and I don't need that again now with my best friend. 

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Hiiiii

I hope you guys like this edit

How are you guys doing??

- love eve <3